one’s own blood.”
His statement struck a nerve in Ellen. What had driven someone to give up their own child, their own kin?
Mrs. Ashford handed Ellen a bag of rags, three more bottles and the tin of powdered infant food. “Just mix it with water right before you need it.”
Ellen thanked them sincerely and apologized for bothering them after dark. The two had been more helpful than she would have predicted. Maybe she had judged them too harshly.
Ellen and Mr. Lang walked down the back staircase with the baby in her arms and the cloth sack of supplies over his shoulder. The toads still croaked at the nearby creek. Ellen brushed away a mosquito, protecting the baby from being bitten.
The baby had slipped into sleep. Still, his lips moved as if he were sucking the bottle. With a round face and a nice nose, he had white-gold hair that looked like duck down. His skin was so soft. She’d not felt anything so soft for a very long time.
Ellen had always told herself that she didn’t care for babies much, holding herself back from contact with them. But she knew—when she allowed herself to think about it—that all stemmed from losing her infant brother. His loss had altered her life, and led her to not fulfill her accepted womanly role. This had grieved her mother.
But now everything had changed. This child—who had been given to her—needed her. She bent down and kissed his birthmark.
“William.” She whispered the name that still caused such hurt.
“What?” Mr. Lang asked.
“I lost a brother by that name.” She couldn’t say more.
After a moment, Mr. Lang said quietly, “This baby will cause trouble.”
She paused.
“People will talk.”
She tilted her head as she gazed up at him tartly. “Everyone will know that this couldn’t possibly be my child.”
“I... Sorry,” he stammered. “I do not mean that. I mean, people will not want this child here. If someone gives away a child, no one wants him.”
She wanted to argue, but recalling the Ashfords’ comments and attitude, she couldn’t. “I will keep him, then.”
Mr. Lang looked quite startled. “They will not let you.”
“Why not?”
He lifted both his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “You are schoolteacher and unmarried. They will say—”
“What do you say, Mr. Lang?” she demanded suddenly, prodded by something she didn’t yet understand.
He gazed down at her. “I say that troubled times come here. Soon.”
She couldn’t argue with him. But she wouldn’t relinquish the child except to someone who would love him as he deserved. “Good night, Mr. Lang. Thank you.”
“Good night, Miss Thurston.” He paused as if he wanted to say more, but then merely waved and headed toward the cart.
She gazed down at the child as she entered her home and shut the door. She moved inside, rocking the child in her arms, humming to him. His resemblance to William, who had died before he turned one, brought back the pain and guilt over his loss, and for a moment, it snatched away her breath. Her little brother had been born when she was nearly fourteen, and he had left them so soon. And even though she didn’t want to remember, to be reminded, she couldn’t help herself.
She thought of Mr. Lang and how he’d helped her, how he’d also cared for a baby not his own.
“I will call you William,” she whispered and kissed him again. “Sweet William.”
Chapter Five
T he next morning, Kurt waited, hunched forward on the last bench at the rear of the schoolroom where Sunday services were also held. When would Miss Thurston appear with the baby? He sat between a surly Gunther and an eager Johann, hoping neither his inner turmoil nor his eagerness to see her were evident.
A warm morning meant that the doors and windows had been opened wide, letting in a few lazy flies. Men, women and children, seated with their families, filled the benches. Ostensibly Kurt had come to worship with the rest of the good people of Pepin. But he knew