Lysistrata by Fletcher Flora Read Free Book Online Page B

sensible person.”
    “I’m becoming convinced at last that you actually mean to persist in this insanity.”
    “It’s a fact that I do.”
    “It’s monstrous, that’s what it is. Quite apart from my health and honor, which are certainly in jeopardy, what would become of Athens if your attitude were generally adopted?”
    “I dare say Athens would stop killing other Greeks and start doing a little more honest work.”
    “Do you want us to stop defending ourselves? Would you have Sparta overrun us entirely?”
    “Oh, nonsense. The women of Sparta are certainly as sick of masculine idiocy as the women of Athens. It’s my conviction that they would be only too happy to cooperate in ending it.”
    “Well, never in my life before have I heard such perfect silliness on such a grandiose scale! Do you think all the women of the Peloponnesus have lost their minds at precisely the same time you have clearly lost yours?”
    “As for that,” she said, “instantaneous insanity among the men of the Peloponnesus is a common enough occurrence, so I can’t see why you should consider it an impossibility among the women.”
    “Are you bound to infuriate me to the point of violence?”
    “Not at all. Now that I have clarified my position, I am even prepared to be amicable. Would you care for a grape?”
    Taking another herself, she bit into it and sucked its sweet juice into her mouth and disposed of the skin and seeds and pulp in a small bowl that she had beside her for the purpose. The sight of this bit of minor sensuality had the strange effect of inflaming Lycon almost beyond reason, and he felt that he would certainly do no less than foam at the mouth and twitch in the muscles, as Acron had warned, if he lingered a moment longer. Besides, he was now convinced that she was surely mad and possibly dangerous. Turning away, he went back to his room and was miserable.

7
    T HE NEXT AFTERNOON , Lysistrata was in the kitchen annoying the cook when Theoris came to find her. She was not in the kitchen because it was in any way essential, but simply because it was pleasant on occasion to putter about the house, and the cook wished that she would go away and leave him alone. He was well aware of his rather exalted station as a man of extraordinary talent in his trade, and this caused him to feel secure in the assumption of a certain air of independence, but he was a shrewd fellow and also aware, on the other hand, that his independence was severely qualified by slavery. Not wishing to force an issue that could only be uncomfortable to himself in the end, he had learned to judge with a nice precision the almost exact limit of Lysistrata’s tolerance. He was allowed to grunt and look sullen, which he did, but not to be overtly abusive, which he never was.
    “Mistress,” said Theoris, “Calonice, wife of Acron, is waiting for you.”
    “Calonice?” Lysistrata turned to Theoris with a look of surprise. “Calonice again? It was only the day before yesterday that she was here.”
    “Nevertheless, she has returned today. She is waiting in the court near the statue of Hestia.”
    “Whatever can she want?”
    “That, not knowing, I can’t say. I can say, however, that she seems somewhat agitated.”
    “Really? How strange! Calonice is ordinarily as placid as a cow. Something quite disturbing must have happened to her.”
    “Well, perhaps I have expressed it too strongly. Let me think of a softer word.”
    “Now I am not so astonished. You must admit, Theoris, that there’s considerable difference. One can be pleasurably excited. Calonice is excited frequently, in a cow-like way, but I can’t remember ever seeing her in a state of agitation. I wish you would try to be more precise.”
    “I’m sorry. Truly, I’m a deplorable ignoramus.”
    “Well, never mind. You are loyal and diligent and pleasantly pretty, and I cannot expect you to be educated besides. And now, since we have revised your judgment of what I may anticipate,