Maggie Malone Gets the Royal Treatment by Jenna McCarthy Read Free Book Online Page B

face.
    â€œThis is going to be fantastic, don’t you think?” I ask.
    She turns toward me. Her face looks as if she’s just sucked on a lemon slice.
    â€œIf by fantastic you mean that you’ll be escorted down the aisle by Prince Albert’s amazingly handsome son Prince Henry, while I’ll be forced to lock arms with horrible Lord Harold of Southumberland, then yes, positively fantastic ,” Penelope hisses.
    Whoa! What’s that all about? Is this because I called her Penny? Big, blooming deal! I assume she’s done chewing me out, but apparently she’s not.
    â€œAnd if by fantastic you mean that you’ll be positioned front and center for all the international press to photograph, while I’ll be tucked away out of sight like a complete commoner, then yes,” she seethes, “this will be fantastic. Fantastic for you .”
    I’m about to respond, but she’s still not finished. “And if you think you’re going to be the center of attention at this wedding like you’ve been at every other affair in your entire spoiled life, you’ve got another thing coming, my noble cousin.” She’s practically shouting at me now, and she says noble like it’s an insult. Her cheeks are burning with disgust.
    Double gulp. She’s not just a little bit peeved with me—I mean Mimi. She hates her stinking guts. Like, wants to rip her heart out and stomp it into the floor mats of this really fancy car. I am burnt toast. Where is the button I press to go back to being plain old Maggie Malone?
    Frank-the-genie made it clear that once I pick a pair of shoes to step into, they’re mine for the rest of the day, no take backs. But he didn’t mention anything about becoming somebody else only find out that another somebody wants that somebody D.E.A.D.

Chapter 12

    When I Am Nearly Killed by a Scone
    My mouth is hanging open and I’m wondering what I could possibly say to make Princess Penelope hate me a little less when I hear a man’s voice coming from the front of the limo.
    â€œEverything all right back there, Your Highnesses?” he asks, lowering the glass between us just a few inches.
    Penelope glares at me.
    â€œOh! Umm… we’re grand, thanks,” I say. “Just joking around, you know. Giving each other the old punch in the gut.”
    â€œVery well,” he says, raising the glass again.
    â€œOh, so that’s how it’s going to be now?” Penelope says. I don’t have time to ask her what she means by that, because right then, we pull up in front of Winfordshire Abbey.
    I have never seen a building like this in my life! It’s the size of thirty churches all smushed together, with towers and arches and ten thousand spiky things sticking up out of the top. It looks like a fort or a fortress, and not one tiny bit like the Buffalo Lodge where Grandpa Flannery’s gotten hitched at least half a dozen times.
    A man in a fancy red suit and hat opens the limo door, and I get out and join the other bridesmaids. There are six of them and they are all wearing the same buttoned-up baby dress as me and Penelope. Crowds of people are lined up behind metal gates, screaming at me like I’m a famous rock star or something. I notice that Penelope hasn’t gotten out of the limo. That’s weird. Maybe she’s really nervous or got snatched up by aliens or something. I won’t tell you which one I’m hoping for.
    I grin like a crazy person and lift my right arm to give the famous princess wave. I keep smiling and start tilting my head and turning my hand left to right. I’m really getting into it when out of nowhere, Amelia rushes over, puts a giant silk cape over my shoulders, and practically pushes me into the abbey.
    What gives? That was really fun! I was having my first real Princess Mimi moment!
    â€œUnfortunately, it seems you’ve sat in something vile and it has attached itself