Marie Antoinette by Kathryn Lasky Read Free Book Online Page B

at that time realize that Elizabeth was in the room. She came over to my bed and grasped my hand, and for the first time since she contracted the smallpox, Elizabeth raised her veil. Her lovely violet eyes were bleary with tears. She looked straight into my eyes and said, “It would not have been worth it if you had died, sister.” Then she smiled that brilliant smile and I drew her poor pockmarked face to mine and kissed her all over her dead pitted cheeks.
August 30, 1769
I am still quite weak from my time in bed. And I find myself increasingly nervous about my future. There has yet to be any letter from Louis Auguste himself or any picture. Maybe if I could see his face it would ease my worries. I might know that I am heading toward a friend. The word husband to me does not have much meaning, really. Husband , wife — they seem like words Mama thinks up to secure her alliances.
When Caroline went to marry the King of Naples, I felt so alone, so abandoned, but it was after she left that I became closer to Elizabeth. I have made a true friend of my sister. But I shall in some months have to leave her. It seems like too much of life is saying good-bye. It would be so much easier if I thought there was the chance of a true friend waiting for me in France.
September 3, 1769
I am so stupid. I complain that Louis Auguste has never written me, but then again, have I written him? No. It is true that my portrait was sent but that is not the same thing. I am going to write Louis Auguste a letter. I am so much better at letter writing than I was a year ago before I started keeping you, dear diary. I am going to start working on it now. It might take me a few days. And of course tomorrow we leave, as the Court returns to Vienna.
September 9, 1769
Hofburg Palace, Vienna
So much confusion. I hardly had any time to try writing my letter. But here is my first attempt — actually it is my second. I am going to copy it out here for practice.
My Dear Louis Auguste,
It is with great warmth that I write you. I am so pleased to be coming to France to become your wife, the Dauphine. I hope that I shall be a wonderful wife to you as well as a wonderful friend. I hope that we shall have many good times together. I am told you love to hunt. Well, I love to ride. I can ride astride or sidesaddle, whichever you think is most fitting. I like to play cards. I like to dance. I am not much of a reader, but I am trying to encourage the reading habit in myself, as I feel it is valuable. I love planning and giving plays. It is something that I would enjoy at Versailles.
I hope that you will find the time to write me and tell me some of the things that you enjoy. If you enjoy something that I know not about, I shall attempt to learn it. I want to share everything with you and we shall through this become great companions.
Faithfully yours,

September 10, 1769
I sent off the letter today through the regular dispatch that goes to Versailles once every ten days. I like thinking about my little letter traveling across the Empire to the border of France, through rutted roads, into valleys, across rivers.
September 11, 1769
I am furious! I feel like a fool. For an entire day I had been thinking about my small letter to Louis Auguste traveling across the Empire to France. Well, guess where it went? To Mama. She called me in this morning to discuss the Grand Ball for October. The new poupée has arrived for my gown. First she let me look at it and get all excited and then, so very casually, she said, “Oh, my dear, and here is the letter you wrote to Louis Auguste. It has my corrections. So if you will recopy it, we shall send it in the next dispatch to Versailles.” I was stunned as she handed me the letter. My mouth dropped. She looked at me and said, “Marie Antoinette, that is a most unattractive position for your jaw to be hanging in. Please shut it.” I began to shut my mouth and managed to gasp, “Mama . . . ,” but she cut me off. “I must say,