Martin Millar - The Good Fairies of New York.html by Lisa Read Free Book Online Page A

their horns in a huge impatient chorus, although there was nothing any of the drivers could do except wait. Dinnie
    threaded his way across the street.
    'Morag was still complaining about being cold of course, so to shut her up I got out my sword and cut a few
    pieces of this material for some blankets. And very good blankets they were too. We had an excellent sleep. But guess what the cloth turned out to be?'
    'I don't care.'
    'It was the famous MacLeod Fairy Banner!'
    Heather waited for a gasp of astonishment for Dinnie. None came.
    'Aren't you amazed?'
    'No.'
    'Haven't you heard of the famous MacLeod Fairy Banner?'
    'No.'
    Heather was surprised. She assumed that everyone had heard of it.
    'It is one of the most famous fairy artefacts in Scotland, as famous and important to Scottish fairies as the MacPherson Fiddle and the MacKintosh Sword.
    'It was given to the human MacLeod clan by the fairies some time in the eleventh century and they keep it in their ancestral home, Dunvegan Castle. It saved the clan and must only be unfurled in an emergency. You can't play
    around with the MacLeod Fairy Banner. No one is meant to even touch it. Cutting it up for blankets is completely out of the question.
    'Anyway, next day, ignorant of what we'd done, we went on our way. We used the blankets to wrap our fiddles in, thinking that they might come in useful later. But when we reached the sight of the competition and unwrapped our fiddles, there was uproar. The MacLeod fairies were going to kill us there and then for mutilating the banner. I told them it was an accident and I hadn't even realised we were in Dunvegan Castle, let alone that I was cutting up the Fairy Banner, but they seemed to think we'd done it deliberately. MacLeod fairies are noted for their low intelligence. Unfortunately there are an awful lot of them and we had to flee back to the mainland on a porpoise.
    'And after that they wouldn't let up. They chased us everywhere. Even the fact that we are good fairies and are known for never committing malicious deeds didn't make any difference. Hence Morag's and my flight from
    Scotland. Now we can never go back and it's all because that dumb bitch Morag kept complaining about the cold.
    She has ruined my life.'
    'Well,' said Dinnie, sensing an opportunity to discomfort Heather. 'It was you who cut up the banner.'
    'Only to help a weaker creature. And I wasn't to know it was the famous MacLeod Banner. What did they leave it lying around in a casket for?'
    Dinnie by this time was tired. The walk from 4th Street to the supermarket had made him pant and he
    concentrated on shopping quickly and returning home.
    'You might at least express some sympathy,' said Heather, as he loaded up with cookies and tins of corned-beef hash.
    'Why? I don't care about you being chased out of Scotland.'
    'But it is a terrible thing to be homeless.'
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    'Bah!'
    Dinnie had a brief argument with the woman at the checkout when he mistakenly thought she had overcharged
    him, then headed home.
    'Just the man I was looking for,' said the caretaker, meeting Dinnie on the steps. 'I'm evicting you.'
    Dinnie stamped his way up to his rooms and flung his shopping bag on the floor.
    'I am sorry,' said Heather. 'It is a terrible thing— '
    'Don't say it,' snarled Dinnie, and savagely opened a tin of corned-beef hash.
    The albatross landed heavily on the shore of Cornwall. Magris was there to greet her. He was the King's Chief Wizard, although he now liked to be known as Chief Technician, and his wings were neatly folded under a long
    grey cloak. 'Have you any news for me?' The albatross shook her head.
    'There is no sign of them in any of the kingdoms we fly over. We have seen wars, famines and plagues, ships,
    trains and cars, ants, camels and lizards, Spriggans, Church Grims and Mer-women,