Masters of Horror by Lee Pletzers Read Free Book Online Page B

mean, I ain’t seen my dick in at least ten years, so da only way I can be sure I ain’t peein onna floor is to sit. An even den I sometimes miss da bowl. An when I take a dump...
     
    Let’s not talk about dat.
     
    Anyways, Sal an Marie was gone fa hours an I was starvin so I tried to get outta bed on my own. Took forever, but I managed to sit up by myself. Made me feel good. Hadn’t done dat on my own in years. Den by holdin onta da bedpost I somehow got myself to my feet. I started shufflin cross da bedroom, takin little teeny steps so’s I wouldn’t lose my balance. God, I din’t want to tink what would happena me if I toppled over an wound up onna floor. I mean, man, dey’d hafta bring in a crane or sumpin ta get me up again.
     
    An jus as I was tinkin about it, it started happenin. I started swayin. Little sways at first, den bigger ones. I tell ya I was scared to det. I aimed myself for da doorway, figrin I could hold onta da jamb, but started teeterin as I stumbled an I slammed inna da doorway wit a awful crack. I saw da wallboard crack an heard da studs inside groan an creak, but da wall held an I was still on my feet. I hadn’t fallen!
     
    But I was stuck. Usually I went troo dat door sideways. Now I was jammed inta it at a angle an no matter how I tried I couldn’t move out or in. I was scared. I started gettin pains in my chest an my heart started racin like crazy. I hadn’t been on my feet for dat long a time in more years dan I could amemba. Couldn’t breathe. I yelled fa help. Screamed my freakin lungs out, but not fa long. My chest was gettin all congested, like I was fillin up wit water or sometin. I couldn’t scream no more. Evyting got fuzzy, den evyting got black.
     
    Next ting I knew I was in dis place.
     
    It’s a hospital room. Actually it’s not a room, it’s what dey call a suite. Two rooms. I’m in da big room, but dere’s a smaller one straight ahead a me dat’s like a little kitchen wit a fridge an a microwave an stuff. An dere’s a batroom off to my right but in all da time I’m here I ain’t been in it yet. Dey told me what hospital I’m in but I forgot. Who cares, anyway? Da important ting is dey’re starvin’ me!
     
    “ Time for your bed bath,” Dolores says as she comes in carryin a basin a soapy water. She stops an stares at me. “Good Lord, Topsy! You’re eating your pillow!”
     
    I look. Oh, yeah. I guess I am. I tought it was a big marshmallow.
     
    I spit feathers.
     
    “ Never mind,” she says wit a sigh. “Let’s get to the ablutions.”
     
    Most guys would get off bein washed down by a blonde dish like Delores, but I gotta admit I’m too hungry ta tink about anyting but food.
     
    “ Gimme a treat, Dolores.”
     
    “ Shush!” she says, glancin around my room. “What if one of the doctors heard you?”
     
    “ Don’t care. Need a treat.”
     
    “ After your bath.”
     
    “ No. Now. Gotta have sometin.”
     
    “ Oh, all right.”
     
    As she reaches into her uniform pocket I can feel da juices pour into my mout. She pulls out one of dose little low-sugar caramels she sneaks in for me an unwraps it.
     
    “ Stop it, Topsy,” she says. “You’re droolin all over yourself. Open up.”
     
    I open an she pops it into my mout, jerkin her fingers back real quick cause I accidently bit her once.
     
    I taste da caramel. Da sweetness runs all over da inside of my mout.
     
    OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGodohGodohGodohGOD!
     
    I near start ta cry.
     
    “ Come on, Topsy,” Delores says, pattin my arm. She’s a good nurse. She feels for me. I can tell. “You’ll be all right.”
     
    “ Need food!”
     
    “ You need to lose weight, that’s what you need. You almost died of congestive heart failure back in your house. It’s lose weight or die, Topsy.”
     
    I figure I’d ratha die, cause starvin like dis is worse dan det.
     
    “ Where’s Sal? Where’s Marie?”
     
    “ Do we have to go through that again?” Delores says as she