Maybe I Will by Laurie Gray Read Free Book Online Page B

feel now?” Mom asked.
    â€œMy head hurts. My stomach hurts. I just want to sleep.”
    Mom nodded. “Let’s get you some Tylenol for the headache and some ginger ale to hydrate you and settle your stomach.”
    â€œSounds good,” I said. So I took my Tylenol and several sips of ginger ale and went back to sleep.
    The next time I woke up, I felt a little better. My head had stopped pounding, and I just felt really thirsty. I chugged the glass of ginger ale, then made my way to the bathroom. I held my thoughts until I was once again safe in bed. Then it all came back to me. Aaron. Walking. Aaron’s car. Drinking. Shattered glass. I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. After a while I turned over again, but I somehow felt more suffocated with my face out of the pillow. I stayed on my back, and put the pillow over my face. That seemed to be just the right amount of suffocation for me to start to think clearly.
    I had promised to call Cassie. If I didn’t call her, she’d know something was really wrong.
If I call her now, I can just tell her I got sick last night. I’m still not feeling well today. I’ll see her tomorrow at school. Short. Sweet. Just enough to get by. Texting would be even easier.
I got my phone and sent the message.
    Only Cassie didn’t text me back. She called me. Immediately. If I didn’t answer, she’d know I was blowing her off. So I answered. “Hey.”
    â€œHey, yourself. Are you okay?”
    â€œI threw up last night, but I feel better today. I just want to sleep.”
    â€œYou threw up?” I could almost hear her mind calculating how much I drank from the bottle of schnapps she handed me—which wasn’t much compared to the bottle I drained at home.
    â€œIt wasn’t that,” I said hoping to reassure her.
    â€œI know,” she said.
    I felt myself panicking. “What do you mean you know?”
    â€œI mean Aaron told me what happened.”
    No. No way.
No words came.
    â€œAnd Aaron wanted me to tell you he’s sorry.”
    Aaron’s sorry? Just like that? He sexually assaults me and tells his girl-friend who’s supposed to be one of my best friends in the world, and he’s sorry and what? I’m supposed to say it’s okay, no problem, let’s just all be friends? This isn’t making any sense.
    â€œSandy? Are you there?”
    I think I liked it better when we were pretending nothing happened.
“I’m here.”
    â€œIt was all a big mistake. When the two of you were wrestling on the floor, Aaron said he all of a sudden thought you were coming on to him and it freaked him out, so he just pinned you, really hard and really fast.”
    I struggled to find my voice first and then to form the words: “He thought I was coming on to him?”
    â€œI told him that was crazy—you’re not like that. Anyway, he’s sorry if he hurt you or scared you. He didn’t mean it.”
    I came on to him. My fault. His mistake. He’s sorry. He didn’t mean it.
I tried to wrap my mind around what she was saying, what Aaron had told her. What I was supposed to say? There was nothing I could say.
    â€œSandy?”
    â€œYeah?”
    â€œSay something.”
    â€œWhat do you want me to say?” Anger spontaneously combusted in every cell of my being.
    â€œLook, I know you and Troy don’t like Aaron. I’m not asking you to like him. Just don’t be mad, okay?”
    â€œDon’t be mad?” I knew I’d better choose my words carefully. “He … assaults me, and you want me to say I’m not mad?”
    â€œHe didn’t assault you!” Cassie’s frustration was becoming evident. “Maybe he insulted you. But at least he didn’t mean to, and he said he’s sorry. What more do you want? A personal, written apology?”
    â€œI don’t know what I want,” I said finally. There was a long