MC: LaPonte by L. Ann Marie Read Free Book Online Page A

selfish bastard assuming
you'd wait as long as I wanted you to. I didn't think about how my
shit would hit you and how much that would hurt. I have absolutely
no excuse to give you. I shouldn't have taken you out when I was
still planning on living my fuckin fantasies. I tried to stay away
from you but I couldn't. You're the polar opposite of De and I
wanted you. I could see myself growing old with you. I fuckin
strung you along acting like one of those fuckin selfish bastards
that I always hated. I was never trying to get rid of you." She's
not throwing her drink at me so I wait for what's going through her
head.
    "It was selfish. I
remember you not calling me after the first time we went out. Again
we never had the exclusive talk, as a matter of fact; we never had
any kind of relationship talk. I allowed you to treat me as if I
was a convenience. While doing that I let myself down, I became
one. I turned into the woman that didn't believe she was worth any
effort on your part. I wanted you to feel the same way I did and
allowed you to fuck me twice a month without even the pay that the
whores draw." She says so matter of fact. Fuck. I wince.
    What the fuck have I done
to her? "Never were you treated like a whore Kate. I never treated
you like..." She waves her hand at me.
    "You did. You fucked me
twice a month after wining and dining me. Never promising or
agreeing to anything more than a text about the next date. You
don't call me in between, don't check on me to see if I'm alright,
never called me on my birthday or even when we have a lockdown. You
give me nothing but a few hours each month and I accepted that.
After the last date when I asked you for more time and you left so
fast I decided I would start dating again. We didn't have exclusive
rights to each other and I can't go on like this. I want a family
and a man that loves me every day. I spent my whole life alone. I
want to be number one in a man’s life. I want to make a man number
one in mine." She looks so fuckin hurt. Fuck! I hold her
hand.
    "I'm sorry I made you
doubt your worth. I want to make it up to you, start over and show
you what you mean to me. Doing it the right way, with my head out
of my ass. I don't want you to be embarrassed to be with me. I need
to go back and be the guy you'd be proud of. I hate seeing the hurt
disappointment in your eyes. Knowing that I put it
there."
    She nods and gives me a
sad smile. "I told you last night that I'd give you a shot before
making any decisions. I will but while you’re figuring out how to
be Danny again, I'll be dating." She watches me. My body freezes, I
hold my breath. "I need to know that it's actually you I want to be
with or if it's the idea of the guy that use to be you. I need to
feel worth something again." She watches me. Fuck. Her dating is
going to fuckin kill me.
    "I did this. I made you
feel worthless and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'll take
whatever time you're willing to give me. I fucked us up. I'm going
to work on earning your trust and respect back Kate. There won't be
other women or whores while I'm doing it. I promise you. You do
what you need to while I'm working on me and us. I won't make you
regret giving me a shot Kate. I don't want to lose you, I'll make
sure I do it right." I let her hand go. "Can I call you and take
you out, not on dates but just spending time with you until you're
ready for a date with me?" My fuckin brain is chanting please say
yes.
    She hesitates. "I guess I
can't say no to that. I agreed to give you a shot. I want to be
clear, no sex, just friendship until I'm ready to make a decision.
I can't go there with you. It clouds my judgment."
    "Fair enough and thank
you. I won't fuck it up." I'm hoping she can trust me enough to
believe me.
    She nods. "Can we get
breakfast now? I'm starving."
    For the first fuckin time
since yesterday I breathe easy. I smile and squeeze her hand,
"Yeah, me too." I call the waitress over. She looks put out. I
smile at her. "I