Miriam's Secret by Jerry S. Eicher Read Free Book Online Page A

was what she wanted. Yet, at the same time, she wanted what Jonas and his daett had. She couldn’t have both, that was for sure. But making the choice still lay far ahead. Why should she have to make it right now? She was only seventeen and had just entered her rumspringa .What was rumspringa for if not to try new things and entertain thoughts that she could not after joining the church? The contradictions seemed to fill the room. She simply couldn’t let go of Jonas. Not just yet. She wouldn’t marry the man, of course. That was impossible. Jonas lived in a world she would never fit in with. He knew that, and she knew that. So why the guilt? If she’d simply kept her mouth shut most of the pain today would have been avoided. And…she hadn’t been completely truthful. She hadn’t given up her deepest, darkest secret. Jonas had given her his cell phone number. Not even in the midst of her promises had she been tempted to reveal such a thing.
    â€œCall me anytime,” he’d said. “I’d love to chat with you.”
    Jonas had given her the number after she refused his offer to pick her up some evening at home. That was a sign he must really wish to see her again. She hadn’t planned to call him because she’d expected to see him tomorrow in Berlin. Now she wouldn’t be there. Alarm flashed through her. She sat up in bed. What would Jonas think if she didn’t show up at the usual time? Would he come to the house? That would be a disaster! Nee , that couldn’t happen. She had to call Jonas! But how? The phone booth was down the road. She’d have to sneak out of the house, and she’d never done that. Was it even possible? Miriam would hear her, wouldn’t she? And what about Mamm ? Shirley stared into the darkness, her heart pounding. She would face this.
    She looked over at Miriam, who was sound asleep. Shirley quietly got up from the bed and, with both hands outstretched, felt her way down the stairs. Her soft knock on her parents’ bedroom door was followed by a soft rustle inside.
    Mamm opened the door in her nightclothes. She slipped out and shut the door before moving to stand near the window. Soft moonlight revealed her concerned face. “What is it, Shirley?”
    The words gushed out in a whisper. “I have to speak with Jonas. I must, Mamm . I have his phone number.”
    Mamm ’s fingers dug into Shirley’s arm. “You can’t! Not after your daett ’s words tonight and your promises!”
    A sob rose in Shirley’s throat. “I can keep that promise later, but not now. Please, Mamm .” Shirley pushed forward with her argument. “I have to call him. I have to tell him I won’t be there tomorrow. He’s expecting me. If I don’t show up, what if he comes to the house?”
    Doubt filled Mamm ’s face as Shirley continued. “I’ll be really careful, Mamm . I will.”
    Skepticism was written large on Mamm ’s face, but finally she consented. “Go then, if you must, but I don’t approve.”
    Before Mamm could change her mind, Shirley grabbed her coat and left through the front door. Mamm ’s shadowy figure was still by the window when Shirley glanced back. Mamm would, no doubt, still be there when I return, Shirley thought—and in a way she was glad. Mamm ’s presence was comforting even in her disapproval.
    Shirley ran down the side road of Possum Valley in the moonlight. Her feet kicked up pebbles along the edge of the pavement. When the headlights of an car bounced in the distance, she dove for the ditch and hid behind a bush until the vehicle passed.
    The next dash brought Shirley to the phone booth. She caught her breath before she dialed the number by heart. It was as if the numbers had been burned into her brain, as had most everything about Jonas.
    â€œText me,” Jonas had told her when he wrote down the number. He’d laughed at the