said. "Thanks for the conducted tour. I really appreciate it."
We almost parted friends. On his side, anyway. The poor sap. He might be an expert in his own field. But not in mine. I really had him where I wanted him, over a score of light-years from home and friends and into an area we controlled. He had no Fleet pals here! And I had friends by the thousands!
He might as well get used to Earth. He would never leave it, even if I let him live!
Chapter 6
We slipped down secretly through the darkness toward our base on Planet Earth. I had formulated my instructions. I had them all ready to issue the moment we landed.
That afternoon, I had taken time to think it all over and review policy.
It is a sound maxim in covert operations that when you find you are acting on the orders of an insane person, you take complete stock of your own position in the mess. I had found that, without any slightest doubt, Lom-bar Hisst was a paranoid schizophrenic, compounded by pronounced megalomania, confirmed by aural hallucinations, complicated by probable heroin addiction and consolidated with a consumption of amphetamines: in other words, stark, staring mad. Nuts. Executing any of his commands could be very dangerous.
So I did a little resume of position. I even did it in the proper resume form. I wrote:
RESUME OF POSITION
1. Lombar Hisst needed drugs on Voltar to undermine and overthrow the Voltar government and take power.
1-a. Blito-P3 was the only known source of such drugs.
1-b. The Earth base existed to keep the drugs coming.
2. Delbert John Rockecenter, by nominee, ownership and other means, controlled the pharmaceutical companies of the planet.
2-a. Delbert John Rockecenter, through his banks and another means, controlled, amongst the rest, the Government of Turkey.
2-b. Delbert John Rockecenter's wealth depended upon oil and the control of all Earth's energy sources.
2-c. Delbert John Rockecenter could go broke if anyone monkeyed with his energy monopoly.
2-d. Conclusion of 2: If the pharmaceutical monopoly passed into other, less criminal hands, we could be out on our stinking ear!
3. From the viewpoint of Earth, Jettero Heller's presence here would be extremely beneficial.
3-a. Earth would have cheap and abundant fuel.
3-b. As economic stresses are caused by scarce fuel, then Heller's technical assistance would, as a side benefit, abruptly end the raging inflation and bring about wide prosperity.
3-c. If Heller changed the fuel type, the air would clean up.
3-d. If Heller did not succeed, the planet would be liable to self-destruct from pollution.
3-e. If word got to the Grand Council that Heller had failed, it would launch an immediate and bloody invasion, costly to Voltar and fatal to Earth, just to prevent the present inhabitants from rendering the target worthless with their filthy housekeeping.
3-f. If Heller succeeded, the threatened invasion would go back on schedule to be undertaken a hundred years from now per the original Invasion Timetable.
3-g. In a hundred years, during which it had abundant and practical fuel, the planet could probably raise itself to a higher technological level and the type of "invasion" Earth would experience then is known as a "PC Type Invasion," meaning "Peaceful Cooperation" wherein Voltar would just want some bases and would minimally interfere in the planet's internal affairs. There would be no blood or destruction and everybody would be happy.
3-h. Jettero Heller's presence on Earth was a Godsend both to Earth and Voltar.
4. Soltan Gris had evidence that Lombar Hisst had put an unknown assassin close to one Soltan Gris.
4-a. If said Soltan Gris did not carry out the orders of said Lombar Hisst, said assassin would emphatically terminate the life of said Soltan Gris with malice aforethought and ferocity!
CONCLUSION: Carry out the exact orders of Lombar Hisst cleverly, painstakingly and with enormous care! And with no questions whatever!
If I do say so myself, it was
MR. PINK-WHISTLE INTERFERES