More Than A Four Letter Word by Stephanie Jean Smith Read Free Book Online Page A

Clarissa said as she sits on the sofa beside her father.
“Why did you marry Mother? Especially after the horrible things she
did to Aunt Helen.”
    Raymond picks up Clarissa’s hand and holds it
gently. “I’m trying to find a way of explaining myself without
sounding like the world’s biggest fool. When I first met your
mother, my brother Clarence had just left for boot camp. When I saw
Henrietta, she touched my heart. I was struck dumb by your mother’s
loveliness and the way she carried herself. We started dating, and
after a couple of months, she told me what she’d done to Helen and
James. By that time, Helen had moved out of her parents’ house.
    It was around this time that we found out
that James and Clarence’s helicopter crashed. My parents were told
it was some kind of training accident. Losing my brother was a
terrible burden for my family and me. Clarence meant the world to
me, and no one could take his place. Helen went into decline upon
hearing about James’s death, but knowing that her sister carried
his child helped her through the rough times.”
    “ Did you feel sorry for
Mother? Did you actually love her?”
    “ I’m not going to lie to
you, at first I was put off by her pregnancy. A couple of weeks
went by, and I realized that it didn’t matter because I loved
her."
    Clarissa sighs. "Oh Daddy."
    "When you love someone, you accept her for
what she is; by the time your mother and I married I wanted to be
the father of her child."
    Clarissa frowns at him unable to grasp the
situation. "I'm trying awful hard to understand the depth of your
feelings for Mother. It takes a real man to raise another man's
child."
    "The day you were born, I couldn’t have been
any prouder if you were my own child. You’re my little girl, and
you’ll always be my little girl. I know you’re hurting, that's why
I came to talk with you. I love you Rissa, and I don’t want our
relationship to change because I’m not your real father.”
    Clarissa hugs her father as unshed tears fill
her eyes. “Daddy, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that
could ruin our relationship.”
    Raymond has tears in his own eyes as he
returns Clarissa’s embrace. “I thought that you should have known
about James Wilson all along; however, Henrietta was too ashamed to
tell you the truth about the past. Instead of putting my foot down,
I let her have her way. I knew that one day you would find out.
Secrets have a way of coming to head no matter how hard we try to
keep them hidden."
    "Daddy, James Wilson is just a name to me,
you're my father."
    "It feels as if a burden has been lifted off
of my shoulders. It's good to know that I cannot lose your
love.”
    “ I have known for years that
there is something about me that's different from everyone else. I
now understand why it's so difficult for Mother to love
me.”
    “ Your mother doesn’t hate
you. You’re a constant reminder of what she did to Helen and James.
I think that you should go talk to your mother about how you feel.
Hopefully it will free both of you from a painful past.”
    “ I don’t know Daddy there
are just some things that should be left alone. I'll talk to mother
if you want me to. I would do that for you."
    "Don't do it for me, talk to your mother for
your own peace of mind. Don’t let yourself be bogged down by the
unhappiness of yesterday. That’s what’s wrong with people today;
they spend more time in the past than they do in the present. I’ll
see you soon baby girl. Raymond kisses Clarissa before heading for
the door.”
    Clarissa walks her father to the door and
hugs him, as far as her family knows she's still moving to Atlanta.
“See you soon Daddy.”
    Raymond pauses at the door before leaving, “I
wish I could say that I'm sorry you ended your engagement to
Lawrence. He isn't the man for you; a man who truly loves wouldn't
have given Roberta a second glance."
    Clarissa gives her father a little smile,
"Daddy I don't think I could