Mrs. Lilly Is Silly!

Mrs. Lilly Is Silly! by Dan Gutman Read Free Book Online

Book: Mrs. Lilly Is Silly! by Dan Gutman Read Free Book Online
Authors: Dan Gutman
My name is A.J. and I hate spiders. Aren’t spiders gross? Yesterday I was in my backyard, and one of those disgusting things crawled up my leg. I thought I was gonna die!
    Something else really weird happened yesterday. It was Friday. I walked into Mr. Granite’s class at school, and there were three grown-ups sitting on chairs in front of the whiteboard: a fireman, a cowboy, and a frogman.
    â€œWho are they ?” whispered my friend Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn’t food.
    â€œThose guys must have escaped from the loony bin,” said Michael, who never ties his shoes.
    We were all talking, until Mr. Granite held up his hand and made a peace sign, which means “shut up.” Some other grown-ups came in and sat in front of the whiteboard.
    â€œGood morning, everyone,” said Mr. Granite. “Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education, decided that today would be Career Day at Ella Mentry School. So I invited a few of my friends to come in and tell you about their jobs. Maybe this will help you decide what you want to be when you grow up.”

    â€œI already know what I’m going to be,” I said. “A pro skateboarder.”
    â€œMe too,” said Alexia, who is a girl but is cool anyway.
    â€œI want to be a veterinarian,” said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair that I hate.
    â€œYou want to grow up and not eat meat?” I asked.
    â€œThat’s a vegetarian , Arlo!” Andrea said, rolling her eyes. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don’t like it. Why can’t a truck full of vegetarians fall on Andrea’s head?
    The frogman stood up first. He had a mask on his face and flippers on his feet.
    â€œI’m a scuba diver,” he told us. “I feed the fish at the aquarium blah blah blah.”
    He told us all about how he feeds the fish. Then the cowboy stood up.
    â€œI milk the cows and groom the horses and blah blah blah,” he said. He told us what it was like to work on a ranch. Then some other guy stood up.
    â€œI’m an exterminator,” he said. “My job is to kill bugs and blah blah blah.”
    Grown-ups sure have weird jobs!
    â€œOur next guest is a special surprise,” Mr. Granite told us. “Please welcome … professional skateboarder Tony Eagle!”
    Wow! Tony Eagle is famous ! He’s been on TV. Me and the guys and Alexia started clapping and shouting.
    Tony Eagle came rolling into the room. But he didn’t come rolling in on a skateboard. He came rolling in on a wheelchair!
    â€œWhat happened to you ?” I asked.
    â€œI broke every bone in my body,” Tony told us.
    â€œYou must have been working on a really awesome new trick, huh?” asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.

    â€œNo.”
    â€œWere you trying to jump over a car?” I asked. “That is cool!”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWhat happened?” asked Ryan.
    â€œI … uh … ran into a door,” said Tony Eagle.
    Ouch! Running into doors hurts. Maybe I don’t want to be a pro skateboarder after all.
    A bunch of other grown-ups told us about their jobs. A lawyer told us that he argues with people all day. A nurse told us that she has to clean up blood and guts and puke at a hospital. The fireman told us that one time a burning building collapsed while he was in it.
    And I thought going to school was no fun! After Career Day, I’m not sure I want to grow up to be a grown-up at all . I think I’ll just stay a kid for the rest of my life.
    When they were all done, the grown-ups started to leave. But you’ll never believe who ran into the door at that moment.
    Nobody! If you ran into a door, you could end up in a wheelchair like Tony Eagle.
    But you’ll never believe who ran into the doorway .
    I’m not gonna tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you! But you have to read the next chapter. So

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