My Big Fat Low-Fat Wedding by Katya Starkey Read Free Book Online

long, bushy brown hair out of her face. She’s wearing her trademark fleece top, faded jeans and steel-toe lumberjack boots.
    She’s a very rustic girl.
    Crossing my arms, I start tapping my foot on the floor impatiently. “Are you sure you want to be keeping that thing around here?” Pointing, I indicate the robot to Paige’s right. It’s a triangular thing and its front and back is shaped like a step ladder. There are robot arms extending from it as the bot rearranges stock on the shelves.
    “Why ever wouldn’t I?” Paige asks. “This thing has helped out loads around here.”
    Running a hand through my long blonde hair, I squint menacingly at the robot. “One of those things malfunctioned last night and almost killed me!”
    “Did it?” Paige looks astonished. I proceed to tell her that it did indeed, at the spa. “Well.” She adds, “I suppose it’s a good thing there’s no pool in here then!” She barks a laugh and turns on her heel.
    While she’s gone I fill my arms with a few new items from the shelves. When Paige returns to the shop floor with my reserved items, I meet her at the till and pay for my regularly scheduled order of supplies. Ever since the wedding plans began I’ve been trying to incorporate healthier foods onto the cafe menu.
    So far, it hasn’t been working to due lack of flavour, but that’s something I’m determined to change with every new recipe I try out.
    “I still think you should be very careful around that thing, Paige.” This time when I look at her I swear I see a shadow of doubt play across her features. But then when her ladder shaped robot comes floating towards us her demeanour softens.
    “The little bot isn’t really bad company, Emily,” she states simply.
    Shrugging my shoulders I take my bags of health food items off of the checkout countertop. “Suit yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
    As I leave I’m completely put off by the fact that her ladder robot follows me all the way to the door.
     
    ***

    When I get back to the cafe I notice my behemoth oven robot is finally gone. “I see Oliver collected his stupid robot!” I shout to Anika as I make my way into the kitchen, laden with carrier bags. “Although he wasn’t even decent enough to apologise for the bot who nearly killed me last night.”
    Anika shakes her head. She looks perturbed. “I did not know the Oliver man took his diabolical robot, he is a cad for leaving no apology message!”
    A cad. Yeah, well, I suppose a trashy romance novel term for the guy isn’t far off the mark. I smile at Anika. I don’t know what I’d do without her and her amazing use of the English language. I’d know a lot less new words, that’s for sure.
    After serving breakfast we close the cafe for a couple of hours to get the lunch menu started. I’m excited to get started on a new low calorie cake recipe I found online, so I get right too it after unpacking the health food store groceries.
    Carefully, I follow the cake instructions. “The buns in the oven!” I exclaim to Anika a half hour later. Well, it’s not baps I’m baking, but a healthy carrot cake that should turn out tasting quite nice.
    Lunch time at the cafe gets quite busy. It’s only when Lara comes in that I remember the cake. “Why didn’t I hear the alarm?” I exclaim and run into the kitchen. “Oh good.” Sighing with relief I notice the cake is sitting on the counter top. Anika must have taken it out of the oven.
    “Surprise!” Lara comes bursting into the kitchen behind me. “Happy hen do, Em!”
    I turn and she throws something to me. Catching the pink t-shirt I look at what’s printed on the front. “In the morning this girl won’t be single so buy her a drink now.” I read aloud. There’s an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence on the shirt, but I’m not feeling overly excited enough to shout out about it. Flipping the pink t-shirt over I discover the back reads BRIDE in big capital