My Happy Days in Hollywood by Garry Marshall Read Free Book Online Page A

the
Uncle John and Uncle Garry Radio Show
, in which we discussed different army topics and news of the world. We did radio salutes with a comedy twist to Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and other holidays. Whatever holiday it was back in America, we would do a tie-in for the troops in Korea. We also did a sports-style play-by-play of a chess match that was quirky but the troops liked it. Finally the AFKN network was known for comedy.
    From time to time, like in journalism school, I made mistakes when trying to be funny. Our boss, Mark Smith, told me one day that one of our radio shows was too long. He wanted me to cut our material down to make it fit. But I thought, Why cut our funny material when it is easier to cut the endless Korean song we were required to play in the middle of the show? So I tightened up the song. What I didn’t know was that the song was the Korean national anthem, and I’d offended a whole country. Instantly I was demoted for a few weeks. I had learned a valuable lesson: Ask for help in translation before cutting anything.
    I redeemed myself during the Academy Awards a few weeks later. Sometimes when we were broadcasting a particularly popular show, the North Koreans would jam our airwaves just to frustrate us. This is what they did the night we were to air the Oscars. Everyone on our base was looking forward to Bob Hope’s opening monologue, but I knew ahead of time that the North Koreans had messed up the broadcast. So I tried to come up with some way to fix it. As I sat down to listen to it, Bob Hope’s opening monologue was completely chopped up by dead air. However, I already knew from experience how the jokes went from hearing them performed in clubs. So I was able to re-create the punch lines or straight lines. Then I hired a local guy who could imitate Bob Hope and had him fill in the blanks. Suddenly we were back in business broadcasting the opening of the Academy Awards. The other guys in the station thought I was a wizard, and they loved what I had done. So did my commanding officer.
    I was always looking for a new project to work on. Anothersoldier I made friends with was Jimmy Anglisano, who also was from New York. Jimmy was a pleasant type who later became a banker. He wanted to form a band and heard I played the drums. I told him all I had to offer was the snare drum I had brought with me, not a complete kit. This information did not deter him. One night he picked me up in a jeep. We crawled under barbed wire and entered the back door of a large building. When he turned on the lights I saw the entire room was filled with musical instruments. He helped me carry out a complete drum set, and we transported it piece by piece underneath the barbed wire back to our jeep.
    “I’m a little nervous,” I said.
    “Why? What’s the problem?” Jimmy asked.
    “I want to form the band, don’t get me wrong. But won’t we get in trouble for stealing? There are people in charge of this building.”
    “The person in charge of this building is me,” he said. “And I’m fine with us taking it.”
    Jimmy played the accordion and was also a good leader. He also found a good guitar player to join us. He said our band could benefit from a southerner, so we recruited Marv Dennis, who was from Nashville. To round out our band Jimmy brought in a soldier who was known for doing Elvis Presley impersonations. His name was Jack Larson, and he often performed at the officers’ club. Jack, an energetic, gyrating kid with the moves of Elvis Presley, later changed his name to Lars Jackson to give himself a more European flair. As a band we did very well with Jack. Eventually, however, Jimmy and I made the decision to reinvent ourselves as a two-man team so we could enter the army’s network of variety contests. Jimmy did mime-style humor while I narrated like a circus barker with a metal crowbar instead of a cane. For some reason, our act was a big hit with the soldiers. They seemed to find