My Life as a Cartoonist by Janet Tashjian Read Free Book Online Page A

Crash.
    â€œToday’s topic is creating original characters,” I continue.
    â€œSpeaking of original characters, any room for me?”
    flourish
    I don’t need to look to see whose voice that is. Umberto wheels himself into the room with a flourish. “I didn’t sign up. I hope you don’t mind walk-ins.”
    Everyone in the room stops what they’re doing to process Umberto’s joke. Finally Susan bursts out laughing, then the other kids do too. Matt and Carly check to see how I’ll react but I just laugh along with the others. What I really feel inside isn’t delight but dread. Has Umberto made it his life’s work to torture me? If so, he’s doing a bang-up job.
    muster
    I muster all my strength to bring the club back on track and hand Umberto a copy of the class outline. “We’re talking about creating characters. I thought Terry and Tommy could talk about the cat comic strips they do.”
    â€œCan’t wait,” Umberto says. “After that, I want to talk about my monkey strip.”
    â€œCool,” Terry says. “I love monkeys.”
    Umberto reaches into his pack and pulls out a stack of papers. This is not happening.
    â€œThese are awesome,” Tommy says. “Using a monkey is a great idea.”
    replica
    I stare at my pack on the desk. My own work will now look like a replica of Umberto’s. The kid hasn’t been in the room for a minute and he’s already succeeded in taking the wind out of my sails.
    Even though she’s been focused on Crash 24/7, Carly immediately comes to my rescue. “Can we see the cats?” she asks the twins. “They sound really great.”
    unsettled
    Tommy and Terry each take out stacks of wrinkled pages from their packs. I try to grab the reins of the class back by asking how they originally came up with the idea. When I spy Umberto out of the corner of my eye, he’s not as unsettled as I’d hoped, but instead listens to Terry with full attention.
    Tommy talks about how the cat character has evolved since they first started drawing him but Terry interrupts him. “What about you, Derek? Show us some of your illustrations.”
    I reluctantly spread my Super Frank panels across the desk.
    â€œThese are great!” Matt says, as if it’s the first time he’s seen them. “Super Frank looks like a real monkey.”
    Susan takes one of my drawings and compares it to Umberto’s. “Your monkey has much better fur,” she tells him. “The face is more realistic, too.”
    â€œYeah, and the lettering’s really professional,” Tommy adds.
    â€œI worked hard on them,” says Umberto proudly.
    Starting a cartooning club suddenly seems like the idea of an imbecile—namely, me.
    unexpected
    â€œI think Derek’s are more original,” Carly says. “Having a baby seal as a bad guy is totally unexpected.”
    Just about as unexpected as a classmate in a wheelchair trying to ruin your life , I think. But the other kids want to hear more about Umberto’s process. I admit defeat and give up trying to manage the club, at least for this session. Umberto has conquered me fair and square. I sit down next to Matt, who shrugs. He’s right—Umberto’s won this round; it’s up to me to win the next one.

Water on the Brain
    introductory
    After the fiasco with the cartoon club, all I want to do is hole up in a cave, but Carly won’t have it. She convinces Matt the best medicine is for me to go surfing. She arranges for Heinz to give us lessons at an introductory rate. Matt’s wanted to try surfing for a long time and immediately says yes for the two of us.
    Matt’s brother, Jamie, drops us off in Santa Monica, where Carly, Crash, and some other kids are already getting ready to go out. It doesn’t take a genius to guess which one is Heinz. The guy’s so tan and his hair so bleached from the sun, he