Nanny Piggins and the Pursuit of Justice by R. A. Spratt Read Free Book Online Page A

investment analyst every week. They keep getting promoted to a better job, or leaving to serve jail-time for insider trading.’
    ‘But there must be some kind of manager here?’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘No,’ said the cleaning woman. ‘The manager had the highest salary, so she was first to go. The 29-year-old said it was a new decentralised management strategy.’
    ‘What? So there’s no-one in charge and no-one knows what they’re doing?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Exactly,’ said the cleaning woman. ‘Admittedly, it is very similar to the old centralised management strategy. The old manager used to drink a lot.’
    The cleaning woman started mopping the floor again and Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children watched her edge away.
    ‘What are you going to do?’ asked Samantha.
    ‘Well, I’m supposed to be keeping the old people company, and helping them come to terms with theloss of their television,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘So I suppose I’d better find out where the old people are kept.’
    Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children made their way down a long green hallway that opened out into a large common room.
    ‘Finally!’ exclaimed Nanny Piggins, upon sighting a dozen elderly people sitting around in plastic-covered armchairs. ‘Some old people to do my community service on. Hello, I’m Nanny Piggins!’
    The old people did not move or say a word. They just kept staring catatonically into the middle distance.
    ‘Do you suppose they’ve eaten too much cake?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘I sometimes feel like that after 60 or 70 chocolate mud cakes.’
    ‘Why don’t I try to fix the TV?’ suggested Boris.
    ‘Good idea,’ agreed Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Hang on,’ said Boris as he peered at the ancient TV set. ‘Someone’s broken off most of the knobs!’
    Nanny Piggins had a closer look. ‘They’ve broken the knobs off for all the good channels!’
    ‘And look at this sign,’ said Samantha.
    On top of the TV set was a sign printed in bold block letters saying:
    DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, SHOW THE OLD PEOPLE ANYTHING OTHER THAN BALLROOM DANCING OR LAWN BOWLS. IT ONLY GETS THEM OVEREXCITED.
    Nanny Piggins looked at her watch. ‘ The Young and the Irritable is on in twenty minutes. Boris, run home and fetch our television.’
    ‘But what if they get overexcited?’ whispered Michael, looking worriedly at the catatonic old people.
    ‘It would do them a world of good,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Now, while we’re waiting for Boris, let’s look about.’
    Upstairs Nanny Piggins and the children found a long corridor with bedrooms on either side. ‘I’m going to start introducing myself to more residents,’ said Nanny Piggins, raising her trotter to knock on the first door. ‘Hello, I’m Nanny Pigg–’
    But as the door swung open Nanny Piggins was horrified to be confronted by a masked figure, wearing all black and holding a ticking bomb.
    ‘Aaaaggghhh!’ screamed Nanny Piggins and the children.
    ‘Sorry,’ said the figure, pulling off the ski-mask to reveal that she was really a sweet old lady. ‘I’m Mrs Hastings and this isn’t really a bomb. It’s just a couple of empty shampoo bottles painted black, my alarm clock and some pretty coloured wires from out of the back of the television.’
    ‘What on earth are you doing dressed like that and carrying a fake bomb?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘I was going to catch the 10.15 bus into town to rob the bank,’ explained Mrs Hastings.
    ‘Why were you going to rob a bank?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Probably to buy a new television,’ guessed Michael.
    ‘No,’ said Mrs Hastings. ‘I’m not really going to rob a bank,’ she chuckled. ‘I’m going to let them catch me. Then they’ll put me in jail. I’m hoping if I hit one of the policemen over the head with my handbag I’ll get life imprisonment.’
    ‘Why do you want to get life imprisonment?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Because the food is much better in prison than it is