Nan's Journey by Elaine Littau Read Free Book Online
Authors: Elaine Littau
been a pleasant sound even if it did smite her in her heart that she never would be that close to anyone.
One day , if she had a child of her own, she would speak softly. The child would want to wrap chubby little arms around her and call her Mama. The glow of love would shine in baby eyes.
Never would she lay a hand on a child again. I swear it! I don’t know what got into me. I am not a monster without feelings. I can be good. I will myself to change. I am starting today!
Now that Nan and Elmer were gone, she had a new start. No one would remember the harsh treatment and words. She could do it. Turning over a new leaf, right. Other people could do it, why not me. I am going to be so good that people will talk about me. I will make friends. I don’t like being alone on this vast prairie. I must have someone to talk to.
Now that she made that commitment to herself, how would she go about carrying it out? Where do I start? It used to be that acquaintances were made while going to school. I am too old for school. I will go into town tomorrow and get some things in the general store. I will speak to the lady at the counter. I better start slow, I don’t want people to notice too much of a change in me. I will ask her a question about herself. It shouldn’t be too personal. What do other people talk about? Weather. Let me see. “Mrs. Waide, it is mighty hot weather we have been having lately.” I should say something about Nan and
Elmer. Let me see… “I am sure that my children, Nan and Elmer, are enjoying their visit with their aunt in Boston.” What will I say if they ask how I could let them stay or live there? Nancy, the children’s m other, had an elderly aunt that truly wanted to raise t he children herself. There are a lot of other cousins that would add a wonderful influence in their lives.
That’s it. I need to look like I am doing it for the good of the children. I will say that a little bit. “… for the good of the children . ”
That sounds mighty kind of me. I can tell how lonesome it was for them out on the little farm and how much culture they will get in the big city. I can even say that I miss the big city. I know, I’ll say that I love the shopping and theatre and miss it so much. That might make me sound more interesting. It is a sight better than the truth. I need to get my story straight.
She walked slowly to the house and looked at the clothes on the hooks in her room. There wasn’t much, but there was a dress her m other helped her make for her wedding. It was no more that a fancier version of her work dresses, but she had been saving it for a special occasion. Well, this was a special occasion. She was making a brand new Mary Dewey. Maybe she would have enough egg money to buy some fabric for a new dress.
At the very least, she did need some more chicken feed. That would mean that she could get feed sacks in a pretty print. The fabric was coarse, but some of it was kind of pretty. She would have to get at least three sacks, probably four to make it look like anything. Mr. Dewey would have a fit if she bought that much at one time, but he wasn’t here now, was he?
She looked into the mirror over the washbasin by the door. Good folk wouldn’t welcome a woman that looked so severe. “If I’m going to make myself over, then I need to do it right!” She took down the braids that were wrapped tightly around her head and unwound them. She had good hair. Not wonderful like the mother of the children, but she might try to do something with it. She better not be too different though. If Mr. Dewey showed up, it wouldn’t do for him to notice a change all at once. She thought of the photograph in the trunk that she had sent to Boston. Mary had her hair technically fashioned in the same manner that Nancy wore hers. There was a difference though. Nancy wove the strands a little looser than Mary liked hers to be. It gave a softer look to the hair. Mary liked hers to be tight and smooth so
One day , if she had a child of her own, she would speak softly. The child would want to wrap chubby little arms around her and call her Mama. The glow of love would shine in baby eyes.
Never would she lay a hand on a child again. I swear it! I don’t know what got into me. I am not a monster without feelings. I can be good. I will myself to change. I am starting today!
Now that Nan and Elmer were gone, she had a new start. No one would remember the harsh treatment and words. She could do it. Turning over a new leaf, right. Other people could do it, why not me. I am going to be so good that people will talk about me. I will make friends. I don’t like being alone on this vast prairie. I must have someone to talk to.
Now that she made that commitment to herself, how would she go about carrying it out? Where do I start? It used to be that acquaintances were made while going to school. I am too old for school. I will go into town tomorrow and get some things in the general store. I will speak to the lady at the counter. I better start slow, I don’t want people to notice too much of a change in me. I will ask her a question about herself. It shouldn’t be too personal. What do other people talk about? Weather. Let me see. “Mrs. Waide, it is mighty hot weather we have been having lately.” I should say something about Nan and
Elmer. Let me see… “I am sure that my children, Nan and Elmer, are enjoying their visit with their aunt in Boston.” What will I say if they ask how I could let them stay or live there? Nancy, the children’s m other, had an elderly aunt that truly wanted to raise t he children herself. There are a lot of other cousins that would add a wonderful influence in their lives.
That’s it. I need to look like I am doing it for the good of the children. I will say that a little bit. “… for the good of the children . ”
That sounds mighty kind of me. I can tell how lonesome it was for them out on the little farm and how much culture they will get in the big city. I can even say that I miss the big city. I know, I’ll say that I love the shopping and theatre and miss it so much. That might make me sound more interesting. It is a sight better than the truth. I need to get my story straight.
She walked slowly to the house and looked at the clothes on the hooks in her room. There wasn’t much, but there was a dress her m other helped her make for her wedding. It was no more that a fancier version of her work dresses, but she had been saving it for a special occasion. Well, this was a special occasion. She was making a brand new Mary Dewey. Maybe she would have enough egg money to buy some fabric for a new dress.
At the very least, she did need some more chicken feed. That would mean that she could get feed sacks in a pretty print. The fabric was coarse, but some of it was kind of pretty. She would have to get at least three sacks, probably four to make it look like anything. Mr. Dewey would have a fit if she bought that much at one time, but he wasn’t here now, was he?
She looked into the mirror over the washbasin by the door. Good folk wouldn’t welcome a woman that looked so severe. “If I’m going to make myself over, then I need to do it right!” She took down the braids that were wrapped tightly around her head and unwound them. She had good hair. Not wonderful like the mother of the children, but she might try to do something with it. She better not be too different though. If Mr. Dewey showed up, it wouldn’t do for him to notice a change all at once. She thought of the photograph in the trunk that she had sent to Boston. Mary had her hair technically fashioned in the same manner that Nancy wore hers. There was a difference though. Nancy wove the strands a little looser than Mary liked hers to be. It gave a softer look to the hair. Mary liked hers to be tight and smooth so