Napoleon's Pyramids by William Dietrich Read Free Book Online Page A

police were gone, Madame Durrell would still be lurking, and I was no closer to paying repairs and rent. That evening, Talma reluctantly boosted me up a downspout so I could peek into my own apartment. It was unchanged, the mattress still torn, feathers spotting my abode like flakes of snow. The latch was shiny, however, meaning the lock had been changed. My landlady was trying to make sure I’d settle my debt before getting my things. Given that my floor was her ceiling, I’d decided an oblique attack would be best.
    “Keep a lookout,” I whispered to my companion.
    “Hurry! I saw a gendarme down the alley!”
    “I’ll be in and out without a peep of noise.”
    I sidled on the sill to my neighbor Chabon, a librarian who each evening tutored the children of the newly striving. As I’d hoped, he was gone. The truth was that I had no hope of bribing a man of his rigid and rather dull rectitude, and was counting on his absence. I broke a pane and opened his window. He’d be disturbed to find a hole in his wall but I was, after all, on a mission for France.
    His room smelled of books and pipe smoke. I dragged a heavy chest away from the wall opposite my own place and used my tomahawk to pry at the wainscoting. Did I mention the hatchet could work as wedge and lever, too? I’m afraid I splintered a few boards, but I’m no carpenter, either. I was making more sound than I’d promised, but if I was quick it wouldn’t matter. I saw my powder horn and the butt of my gun.
    Then I heard the click of the lock on my own door, and footsteps in my apartment. Someone had heard the noise! Hastily, I shouldered the horn, grabbed the rifle, and started to slowly draw it out the wall, fighting the awkward angle.
    I just about had it free when someone grabbed the barrel from the other side.
    I peered through the hole. Facing me was the visage of Madame Durrell, her red hair seemingly electrified, her hideously rouged mouth pursed in triumph. “You think I don’t know your tricks? You owe me two hundred francs!”
    “Which I’m traveling to earn,” I whispered hoarsely. “Please let go my gun, Madame, so I can satisfy my debts.”
    “How, by murdering another? Pay, or I shout for the police!”
    “I haven’t murdered anyone, but I still need time to put things to right.”
    “Starting with your rent!”
    “Be careful, I don’t want to hurt you. The rifle is loaded.” It was a frontier habit acquired from the voyageurs.
    “Do you think I’m afraid of the likes of you? This gun is collateral!”
    I pulled, but she tugged back ferociously. “He’s here, come to steal his things!” she shouted. She had a grip like the jaws of a terrier.
    So in desperation I abruptly reversed movement and bulled forward through the hole I’d made in the wall, bursting more boards as I drove through to my own apartment. I landed atop my landlady along with gun, splinters, and wall dust. “Sorry. I wanted to do this quietly.”
    “Help! Rape!”
    I staggered to the window, dragging her as she clung to one leg.
    “It will be the guillotine for you!”
    I looked outside. Talma had disappeared from the muddy yard. A gendarme stood in his place, staring up at me in surprise. Damnation! The police had not been half so efficient when I had once complained to them about a pickpocket.
    So I lurched the other way, Madame Durrell’s attempt to gnaw on my ankle somewhat foiled by her lack of more than a few teeth. The door was locked, its key no doubt in my landlady’s pocket, and I had no time for niceties. I uncapped my horn, primed my pan, pointed, and fired.
    The report was a roar in the room, but at least my landlady let go my leg as the lock shattered. I kicked the door open and plunged into the hallway. A hooded figure on the stairs blocked my way, armed with a snake-headed staff, his eyes startled from the gunshot. The lantern bearer! Smoke hung in the landing’s air.
    There was a click, and a fine sword point emerged from the snake’s