Nest by Esther Ehrlich Read Free Book Online Page A

everything good and bright and shiny that how can he not be crazy in love with us?

    It’s almost twilight, which means I shouldn’t be heading to the salt marsh by myself, but I don’t care and I don’t think anyone else does, either. I didn’t even bother leaving a note. Dad’s still working, Mom’s still napping, and Rachel’s probably at her new best friend Genevieve’s house, and I bet she’ll end up staying there for dinner again, because Genevieve’s family is
so cool
and
totally on the right wavelength
and
wicked interesting
.
    No hopping, no counting, just my strong legs and this almost-twilight chilly air that feels sharp to breathe in, like eating mints. I’ve got my binocs, a wool sweater, and some cheddar cheese in myknapsack, in case I get hungry. I’m not scared, even though the branches of the pitch pines are already making spooky shadows. I’m not scared.
    I run past the dead beech tree. I run past the fork in the path. I run and run until I see my perfect spot, loud and clear. I pick up a big stick, which might be
her
stick.
    “Listen, lady,” I whisper. It’s hard to talk into the purple swirl, darking up the sky. It’s hard to talk into the bird squawks, cricket chirps, water slaps. I take a deep breath. “Listen, you,” I say again, louder. “This is
my
tree. This is
my
spot. You had no right to shoo me away.” I stop. I wait. Nothing happens.
    “How would you like it if you were just wanting to watch birds in your special spot and a lady shook a stick at you? Do you think you’re the only one who has had bad things happen to her? You don’t even know what the doctor said.”
    I smack the ground with my stick. I’m not allowed to say mean things. “You must be a stupid lady. A really stupid lady who doesn’t know anything. You don’t even know that the doctor said today that Mom might have multiple sclerosis, because first her leg had weird burning and then her left side went numb and then her leg dragged and then her eye started jerking and you only need three unrelated symptoms to diagnose multiple sclerosis and Mom has already had four. It will be definite when the doctor says it’s definite, so Mom still feels like she’s waiting for thesky to fall, which is what she told her friend Clara on the phone. She just lies around and feels bad, and the Saltwater Dance Brigade is going to have to replace her in the show with another dancer, because there’s no way she’ll be able to be a dead soldier in time when she’s got so many symptoms.”
    Something dark swoops down above my head. It might be a bat. It might be a bird. But I’m not ready to take out my binocs and watch.
    “So just leave me alone. I’m going to come here and I’m going to look for loons and you can’t stop me. If you behave yourself, I don’t mind if you’re here, too. You have my permission to come here and do whatever you were doing. But leave me alone. No more sticks. No more shooing.”
    I take my stick and toss it like a spear at the water. It gets stuck in the sea lavender. I take a handful of sand, pitch it, and watch the grains drift down.
    “And by the way, if you leave your sandwich out, the ants will get it. Next time, keep it in the bag.”
    Finally I’m calm enough to take out my binocs and lean against my tree. The water’s so dark that the white bellies of the herring gulls stand out. The double-crested cormorants have got to be out there, but with their black feathers, black feet, and black bills, I can’t see them at all. In the sky, it’s mostly swallows swooping, but there are a few bats sprinkled in. Everybody’s hunting flies. I watch until it’s dark enough that I can’t tell birds from bats. Then Ieat my cheese, put on my wool sweater, and start my slow walk home.
    Mom’s still lying on the couch. “Oh, good,” she says when she hears me open the door, “let’s make supper together.” I walk into the living room. Her hair’s tangly. Her face looks puffy.