Next to Die by Neil White Read Free Book Online Page B

hit her.’ He glanced at Monica, and then looked away, blushing with shame.
    Joe closed his eyes for a moment. Ronnie wanted to swap because Mahones had told him the same thing, that the prosecution were building a good case, that it was time to tell everyone where he buried the bodies and try to get a manslaughter plea, go for diminished responsibility.
    ‘So it was more than just the usual argument?’ Joe said, opening his eyes again.
    ‘Yes, it was, but I’d never hit her before, you’ve got to know that,’ Ronnie continued, his gaze flashing between Joe and Monica. ‘I’ve said bad things about her, even said that I could kill her, but those were just words. It doesn’t mean that I did it.’
    ‘Tell me about you hitting her.’
    ‘I lost it, that’s all I can say. She was screaming at me, and so I punched her, on the nose. Blood flew all over the place. On the wall. On the fireplace.’
    ‘Did you clean up the blood?’
    ‘Yes. I had to go to work but I did it anyway. I was ashamed of what I’d done. When I came home, she wasn’t there.’
    ‘No note or text?’
    ‘Nothing.’
    ‘Does anyone else live in the building?’
    ‘No, just the landlord. He lives on the top floor. The flat between us is empty.’
    ‘What did you do when you got home and saw that she had gone?’
    ‘I just thought she’d gone out, or gone to her mother’s or somewhere. She did things like that, would take off. But I suppose things were different. I’d hit her.’
    ‘So what did you do to find her?’
    ‘Nothing at first. I was ashamed. Then as time went on, I got more worried. I couldn’t find her. I rang her friends, her mother.’
    ‘How long after she walked out?’
    ‘Three weeks. She had Grace with her and I didn’t know how she would cope with her. I started getting all worked up, and when I get all worked up, I don’t think straight. I imagine stuff, and I start to convince myself about the things that scare me. So I started wondering…’ He paused to take a deep breath. ‘I started wondering whether I had done something, about whether I had left work earlier than normal and that I had killed her.’
    ‘Why do you think that?’ Joe said. ‘Do you forget things? Have a history of black-outs?’
    ‘Sometimes. It’s just the way I get when I panic. I get gaps in my memory.’
    ‘Have you ever been violent during these black-outs?’
    ‘I don’t think so, and killing someone is way out there, but what if I had but blanked it out? And so I was worried about Grace, about where she might be. So I did something stupid.’
    ‘I get the impression I’m not going to like this.’
    ‘I went to the police and told them I’d killed Carrie.’
    Joe couldn’t hide the surprise from his voice. ‘You did what?’
    ‘I wasn’t thinking straight, like I told you. I didn’t know if I had or not. It was all just so…’ He shook his head.
    ‘Can you remember what you said?’
    Ronnie exhaled loudly. ‘Not really. It’s a blur. Something like “I might have killed my girlfriend”.’
    Joe sat back. ‘So the evidence against you is that you were shouting the odds in the morning, how you wished Carrie was dead. You left her blood in the flat and then acted strangely at work. You didn’t do anything at first, and then you walked into a police station and confessed to murder.’ He held out his hands. ‘Have I got that right?’
    ‘That’s about it, yes.’
    ‘I’ve heard enough,’ Joe said.
    ‘What, you don’t want the case?’
    ‘I didn’t say that. I need time to read the case properly, that’s all.’
    ‘I need you,’ Ronnie said, his voice more pleading now. ‘I didn’t kill anyone. I know that now. It looks bad, I know, but you’ve got to help me. I thought I could handle prison, but I can’t.’
    Joe looked at him, and for a moment saw the desperation in his eyes. Joe realised how draining the case was going to be. The big ones were always like that, because they consumed