No Dogs in Philly by Andy Futuro Read Free Book Online Page A

offered, but it was the first I
refused. As a younger man I thought them fools the way they tossed
around their riches, that they did not understand human concepts of
value and money. Now, wiser, perhaps, I see they understand it far
better than we, that it is worthless compared to life—and
sanity.”
    “ So that’s how you built this?
Working for the Gaespora?”
    “ Indeed. A fascinating species,
but too niggardly with their secrets. My curiosity is better
rewarded by the UausuaU.”
    “ So you believe their spiel about
being from another planet, or another universe, I guess? You don’t
think they’re human?”
    “ Human? Yes, partly. And also
other. They have touched the knowledge of a different existence and
the idea of that existence has brought them closer to
it.”
    “ Yeah…I think they mentioned
something like that. They also drugged me and messed with my head
or something.”
    “ Ah yes, I remember my first time.
Nothing quite like it, is there? I guess the best word would be
telepathy, but it’s purely physical, of course.”
    “ Okay.”
    She did not like this. He was saying more and
more and she was understanding less and less. The opposite was
supposed to be happening. She’d come here to simplify things, not
complicate them with dumb philosophical chatter. She went over to
an operating table, which no longer seemed out of place. It was a
hard metal slab, smeared with blood.
    “ And I’m guessing this is where
you chop up the elzi?”
    “ Correct.”
    He waddled over to a sink and donned two yellow
gloves. He sprayed a rag with some solution and attacked the
bloodstains.
    “ Sorry for the mess,” he said. “I
was just conducting an experiment before you came.”
    “ What kind of
experiment?”
    “ I’m trying to see if I can remove
the elzi implants without killing the host.”
    She laughed. He was insane, clearly. It wasn’t
too surprising—he’d spent his life studying the Wekba and working
around criminals and beasts. As far as madnesses went, Friar’s was
pretty mild. But thinking he could cure the elzi, that was the kind
of shit that would get him killed. Better to round them all up and
burn them. Smash up every computer, car, and sentient vibrator and
return to an agrarian utopia.
    He smiled at her. “I know. It seems hopeless,
but I must try. Actually, I have learned one neat trick. Let me
show you.”
    He went to a control panel, an old-fashioned
analogue dealy with buttons and levers. It swung the cage around
above the operating table and the bottom opened, dropping the elzi
like a turd onto the table. He groaned a little and then curled up
into a fetal position. Saru stepped back. She wasn’t afraid of the
elzi—she’d zapped her share of the angry ones—but she didn’t trust
this “trick” that Friar was about to perform. He fastened chains to
the elzi’s wrists and ankles and then she noticed that Friar had
pulled out the elzi’s teeth and chopped off his fingers. To declaw
him? To make him less dangerous? Or was that part of the
trick?
    Friar went over to a machine that looked like a
giant radio with a computer console sticking out like a pouty
mouth. He tapped at it a bit and then went to a counter covered in
strange tools, soldering irons, and what looked like medical
instruments. He grabbed a syringe the size of a squirt gun, walked
over to the elzi’s neck and then jammed it in. She saw a scaly rash
of similar punctures and wondered how many elzi had sat on that
table, and where they were coming from, and what happened when they
were no longer useful. Did Friar just dump them down the hole? Why
not?
    The elzi hardly reacted to the syringe—could
they feel pain? Its eyes opened and they were still human, not
rotted, wormy holes, or white with cataracts. They looked at Friar
accusatorially and then grew droopy and unfocused. The elzi’s jaw
went slack and he drooled. Friar beamed.
    “ It’s different for everyone, but
about a pint of zoloctepine is enough