No Rules by R. A. Spratt Read Free Book Online Page A

Friday.
    â€˜Yes, our newest member of staff,’ said the Headmaster. ‘The school council has forced me to appoint him.’
    â€˜Yes,’ said Friday, ‘I worked that out.’
    â€˜VP Pete didn’t like it,’ said Melanie. ‘I don’t think he appreciates Friday’s brand of deductive reasoning.’
    â€˜What did you say?’ asked the Headmaster, sighing.
    â€˜Nothing,’ said Friday.
    â€˜You analysed his employment status based on the colour of his feet,’ Melanie reminded her.
    â€˜And that’s offensive?’ asked Friday.
    â€˜Most people don’t like having their feet observed,’ explained Melanie.
    â€˜This is exactly what I didn’t want,’ said the Headmaster. ‘I need you to stay away from him. To stop causing trouble.’
    â€˜I never cause trouble,’ protested Friday.
    â€˜Ha!’ said the Headmaster. ‘Whenever there’s trouble, you’re right there.’
    â€˜That’s only because you always ask me to fix it for you,’ said Friday.
    â€˜Whatever the reason, I need you to stop it,’ said the Headmaster. ‘I need you to keep your head down.’
    â€˜She’s unusually short for her age,’ said Melanie. ‘How much lower can you expect her head to go?’
    â€˜Friday, now don’t let this go to your ego,’ said the Headmaster. ‘But I need you. I rely on you to help me with this incredibly difficult-to-manage student body. Which is why I don’t want you to do anything that might get you expelled.’
    â€˜I never do anything that would get me expelled,’ protested Friday.
    â€˜You snuck out searching for a swamp yeti, covered up for a Norwegian princess, and went orienteering with a prison escapee,’ the Headmaster reminded her.
    â€˜Technically,’ conceded Friday.
    â€˜I’m on my last warning here,’ said the Headmaster. ‘The school council is longing for an excuse to fire me. If the school degenerates into chaos again, they might close it down entirely.’
    â€˜Surely they can’t?’ said Friday.
    â€˜They can and they will,’ said the Headmaster. ‘There are too many developers and venture capitalists on the school council. The beautifully manicured grounds, heritage-listed buildings andnatural wildlife would make this the perfect location for a golf resort.’
    â€˜But this is where their children go to school,’ said Friday.
    â€˜Very few of them still have children at the school,’ said the Headmaster. ‘Besides, they are the types who would sell their children and their grandmothers for a slice of a major development deal.’
    â€˜So they’ve forced you to hire VP Pete?’ said Friday.
    â€˜Yes, they’re making me work with a new age hippie because they’re trying to break my will,’ said the Headmaster.
    â€˜By exposing you to new educational theories?’ said Melanie.
    â€˜I don’t need new theories,’ said the Headmaster. ‘I’ve had forty years of educational reality. And the reality is that children, particularly the entitled, spoiled brats at this school, are nasty, selfish, devious little pieces of work and they don’t need hand-holding or to have their emotions explored. They need some short sharp punishment, which I’m not allowed to dole out anymore because heaven forbid their massively overblown self-esteems should take the slightest dent.’
    â€˜You should write that up and put it in the prospectus,’ said Friday.
    â€˜Yes, well, that just goes to show the strain I’m under,’ said the Headmaster, rubbing his forehead. ‘I’ve started speaking the truth, which will never do for a man in my line of work.’
    â€˜Evidently,’ agreed Friday.
    â€˜So I want you to behave,’ said the Headmaster.
    â€˜Behave in what way?’ asked Friday.
    â€˜Like a stick