No Safeguards by H. Nigel Thomas Read Free Book Online Page B

Ma and Grama took to Barbados. When Anna returned, she was constantly in tears and, one evening, not long after her return, Caleb struck her. Knocked her to the floor. He picked her up. Frightened. On occasion he’d hit her when he was beating me because she was interfering — and the bible instructed him never to spare the rod and spoil the child; and ‘He that knoweth the will and doeth it not shall be beaten with many stripes’; and God had ordained him head of the household; the bible said so: he was to give the orders, and she was to carry them out; he was man, she was woman. A woman’s role was to obey her husband and fulfill the needs of her husband and her children. It was what he instructed every couple he married: “The buck must stop somewhere”; and he laid down the law in his own home to set the example for his flock.
    â€œI’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Caleb said. “Anna, you see what you made me lose my temper and do? You had no right to do this behind my back. I’m your husband. You’re under my rule. You shouldn’t o’ done this. Why your mother put you up to this? Why? That woman is Satan ownself. If she ever put her foot back in this house . . .” He stopped.
    â€œGo ahead, say it, Mr. Almighty! Say it!”
    He lifted his arm, ready to strike again, but checked himself. “That woman! She must never come back here. Thank God, we don’t depend on her anymore.”
    â€œDon’t be so sure.”
    â€œYou still taking money from her! You’re disobeying me and taking money from that . . . that . . .”
    â€œYou think the pittance you get from those stones or the nickels and dimes they give you on Sundays can feed and clothe your family? Think again.”
    â€œYou live too extravagantly!”
    â€œWell I can’t change how I was brought up.”
    â€œThen you married the wrong man.”
    She didn’t answer.
    â€œWhat’s tied can be untied. You will have to untie them.”
    She didn’t answer.
    â€œI say: you will have to untie them.” He held her by the neck with both hands and rocked her backward and forward.
    She gasped, staggered, and let out a hoarse howl when he let her go.
    â€œShut up! You want to bring disgrace on me! Shut up, woman! Don’t raise the devil in me!” He ran to the doors and windows, closed them, and pulled the curtains.
    â€œ You will go to hell. Stop choking Ma! You big brute!” I shouted. He sometimes called me a little brute.
    â€œGo to your room,” he ordered. “Go to your room before . . . ” I didn’t move. Caleb slumped to the floor on his knees and cried out: “Lord, how did I fail you? Lord, why are you punishing me? I am not Job. I am not Job.” He wiped his eyes with his hands and stared for a long time into vacant space.
    In the rest of my conversation with Grama before I left for Canada, she told me that it was only after Caleb had knocked Anna down a second time that she’d found out about this first beating, and she hadn’t known about the occasional slaps. The second and final beating came about three months after the first, and Anna asked Grama to keep Paul and to lend her some money to go to Canada. “‘Mama, I have to leave him. God alone knows how much damage he’s done to Jay. I can’t let him do it to Paul too. I can’t, Mama. I can’t. He’s already hitting Paul to stop him from crying, leaving welts on his body.’ Jay, your mother was sobbing so loud and hiccupping, I had to hold her to my bosom and comfort her.”
    That second beating. Caleb had been in my bedroom about to beat me to “rescue my soul from the wrath to come.” Anna shouted from the kitchen: “Caleb, leave Jay alone. Rescue your own soul, Caleb. Leave Jay’s alone. Hell doesn’t exist. I already told him so. Leave him alone! Stop terrorizing him!” I heard her fists