No Small Thing by Natale Ghent Read Free Book Online Page B

and the jailhouse. I run until I’m far away from everything and my lungs feel like they’re going to burst.
    I keep running, but no matter how fast I go, I can’t outrun the image of Ma’s face. The terrible words stab at my brain over and over. I collapse on the lawn of a house where the windows are dark and then I start to cry like I have never cried before. I can’t stop my body from shaking. “I’m not like my f-father. I’m not like my father….”
    A light snaps on at the side of the house. I pick myself up and walk out into the street. I follow the road to the edge of town, walking up the big hill until I am standing at the end of the lane that leads to the barn. It’s dark and I have to be careful. The gravel in the lane is sharp, and I have to stop several times to brush the stones from the soles of my feet.
    When I reach the barn, I feel for the latch. It opens with a
click
and I close the door behind me. I don’t even care if Clem’s ghost is in here. It’s better than being at home, I think. I can hear the horses stirring in their stalls. They must wonderwhat I’m doing here so late. I can see Smokey’s white shape. He nickers softly.
    “It’s okay, Smokey.”
    I don’t bother opening the door to his stall, but climb over the side instead, using the edge of the old concrete feed trough as a boost up. Smokey is soft and warm. He rubs his head on my sleeve and gently nibbles my finger. For some reason this makes me feel like crying all over again. Smokey nudges my hand as though he understands. I just stand there enjoying his warmth for a long time before I curl up in the straw in one corner of the stall. My feet are burning from the walk. Smokey looks at me with curiosity and chews his hay. Then he walks over and sniffs me, placing a hoof lightly on my leg.
    “You’re a good boy, Smokey. I won’t take you back, no matter what Ma says.”
    I feel a shiver run up my spine. I think it must be Clem, trying to haunt me out of his barn. For a moment I’m afraid and I wish I was in my own bed, staring up at the ceiling and watching the spider mend her web in the corner of my room. I feel smaller than I ever have in my life. I imagine myself dead and think about how sorry Ma will be when she sees me laid out in a coffin. I imagine everyone walking past me, my skin all blue andmy hands neatly folded across my chest. Then I start to wonder if anybody came to Clem’s funeral, or if he even had a funeral. I think about what he must have looked like, lying on the barn floor, his neck broken, his stained teeth biting into his swollen tongue. I spook myself again thinking about his ghost whirling around in the rafters of the barn. I can feel my heart start to beat faster, but then I open my eyes and look at Smokey. His quiet dignity comforts me as he calmly chews his hay, and somehow I manage to fall asleep—sore feet, ghosts and all.
    I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping when I hear someone calling my name. At first I think I’m dreaming, but then Cid’s voice startles me.
    “Nathaniel!”
    “Cid! What are you doing here?”
    “I knew you’d be here. I came to tell you to come home. Ma sent me. She says we can keep Smokey.”
    “What?”
    “Queenie and I talked to her. She was really upset when you left, but we talked to her and now everything’s okay. We explained about the money and how you paid for the stall. You know Ma can’t deny Queenie anything.”
    I’m so happy to hear Cid’s words that I springup over the stall and throw my arms around her. I know it doesn’t seem right for a brother to hug his sister, especially a boss like Cid, but I’m so glad to hear the news, I’m really not thinking straight.
    “Where are your shoes?” she asks.
    I look down at my feet. My dirty toes wiggle back at me. “I didn’t wear any.”
    Cid looks at me funny and then laughs. I’m embarrassed, but I laugh a bit too.
    We tend to Smokey for a while and Cid tells me the whole story about