No Such Thing as Perfect by Sarah Daltry Read Free Book Online Page B

there. Grumbling, I take out money and pay to get in. “I need to interview the band,” I tell the guy. He points vaguely towards the right of the stage.
    I head in that direction, where a metal chair is resting in front of a black felt curtain. No one is anywhere around the curtain, so I peek through the felt.
    The life of a rock star is not very impressive. I guess I always imagined musicians went backstage to giant suites filled with food and women and parties. Instead, it seems like the curtain leads to a small area by a loading dock, where the equipment is being unloaded out of a minivan by the band members themselves. The illusion is shattered for me forever.
    “Hey, it’s Elinor.” Jack’s standing behind a few of the guys and he drops his case, approaching.
    “Are you in the band?” It’s probably a stupid question, but I’m caught off guard seeing him again. I seem to run into him a lot.
    “I am. What are you doing here? Doesn’t really seem like your scene.”
    “Yeah? What is my scene?” I ask. I don’t know why I feel like I need to prove something to him, but I want to be more than the lost girl who needs a plan for everything.
    “I don’t have a clue. I just didn’t expect to see you here.”
    “Maybe I’m full of surprises.”
    “Maybe you are. So, do you want to come backstage?”
    “Would that make me an unofficial groupie or something?” Are you flirting? You cannot seriously be flirting . My admonition is unjustified, since I wouldn’t call it flirting exactly, but I do get a little giddy when he steps closer. “Are the stories all true about musicians?”
    “What stories are those?” he asks.
    “You know – wild nights, lots of women, tragic pasts.”
    He laughs bitterly. “You have no idea.”
    “So tell me.”
    “Lily, I’m not a good guy,” he says. “I’m really not a good guy and I am most definitely not a guy who belongs with a girl like you. I should have made that clear before.”
    “Well, I have a boyfriend. I’m only here for the paper,” I say, regretting the words as soon as I say them. I sound like a child; I wouldn’t even be at a concert if it wasn’t for my school club.
    “Ah, okay. Sure, let me grab Neil, the singer. It’s really his band,” Jack tells me and he heads back towards the loading dock. He talks to another guy dressed all in black before heading outside and disappearing. For some reason, I can only say the wrong thing with this guy.
    Neil tells me all about the band and his inspiration and I write it down verbatim, but I’m barely listening. I can’t stop thinking about Jack’s eyes and how much he makes me doubt myself. All of the things I’ve ever wanted seem stupid and meaningless when he talks to me, like paper dolls, translucent and insubstantial. My life is like a window dressing for a real person. But the fear that is ever present doesn’t fade. I know what happens when you make mistakes. I know the price of not being perfect.

14.
    H er name was Lucy and she was beautiful. It had taken a lot of pleading, but when my father brought her home as a surprise, I couldn’t believe it. She was mine, too. Jon said he had no interest in a dog, but I didn’t care. I brought her right to my room and cuddled her and scratched her ears. She jumped on my bed immediately, undeterred by my mother’s loud footsteps as she followed us.
    “Lily, take that animal off your bed. I just made it,” she yelled at me.
    “Mom, she’s fine. Look how pretty she is,” I argued. My dad was standing behind my mom in the doorway. I’d been asking for weeks and I’d heard them whispering at night – my father saying it would be good for me, that I needed someone other than Abby and following after Jon and Derek like I was lost. Abby’s parents were always dragging her places and at eleven, I had no other friends. My mom just kept complaining about the mess, but obviously my dad had won.
    “Let it go,” my father interjected. “Lily’s good.