Nobody's Sorry You're Dead: A Hadley Pell Cozy Mystery by Jeri Green Read Free Book Online Page B

party?”
    “No,” said Maury. “And I’m afraid to ask. But I will. What?”
    “I’d like to serve some sloppy joes,” Hadley said, “meatloaf sandwiches, fried potatoes with onions, or gravy and homemade biscuits. Anything that would stick to my ribs.”
    “Hadley Jane Pell! You wouldn’t dare embarrass me like that. Would you?” Maureen asked.
    “Of course not,” Hadley said. “Like I said, you’d never let me live it down. But I really wish I could. I never win at cards, Maury. You know I only play for fun. But boy howdy, they don’t. Some of those vampires are out for blood. You are the only one who will be my partner.”
    “I know what you’re saying,” said Maury. “It’s just a game. Even if you win, it’s not like the prize is something you actually want.”
    “You said it,” said Hadley. “How many snail shell napkin rings does a body need in one lifetime? All those poor homeless snails. It kills me to think about them. Just because some crafty Katie decides to glue their shells into a million and one different cutesy-patootsie, dust-catching knickknacks! Can you just imagine how Imogene Plunkett and Babe Kirkpatrick would react if I served souse meat and collards and watermelon rind relish at our next get together? Or maybe pinto beans and chitterlings and crackling cornbread or liver pudding and melted cheddar on homemade whole wheat buns! Those women would look at me like I’d stood naked in front of the Pope!”
    “Hadley!” Maury shrieked.
    “Oh, calm down, Maury. I’m just thinking out loud. I’d never serve anything but the cardboard cutouts for your sake. I do love you that much, little sister.”
    “Well, thank you for that, Hadley,” Maury said. “I think.”
    “And I have no plans,” Hadley said, “to go to Vatican City anytime soon. My blouse is buttoned, and my jeans are zipped. So, relax.”
    Hadley could no longer resist the doughnut. She opened the bowl and dove in, devouring it.
    “Hadley?” Maury said. “What are you doing?”
    “Nothing,” Hadley said.
    It was delicious. Totally worth the wait.
    Or maybe weight was a better word.
    “But back to those jobs, Maury,” Hadley said. “You’re right. I don’t need the money, but I do need to get out of the house and out into the world. You have to understand. These four walls close in on me, sometimes. If I don’t go and do something, I start climbing them. I need to keep busy, and I might as well get paid if I can. What does it hurt?”
    “Nothing, I guess. If it makes you happy,” Maury said.
    “It does,” Hadley said. “It staves off cabin fever, little sister.
    “And promise me, Maury, not a word to Bill. I’m glad he thought of me. My curiosity is so peaked, I feel like Mount Everest. Can you imagine what kind of stuff that old gaffer has hoarded in that house all these years?”
    “Do you think you’ll find treasure in all that junk?” Maury asked.
    “His mummified mother, more like it,” said Hadley.
    “Oh, Hadley!” Maury said. “You’ll give me nightmares!”
    “No, I won’t. But that fried-green-tomato stew you insisted on serving Bill and me last Thursday night probably will! Stop trying all those fancy recipes from Elegant Manor Magazine. You live in Hope Rock County, for goodness sakes!”
    “But it looked so divine in the picture, Hadley. I simply couldn’t resist. I have to admit, though, I was disappointed. It did taste a bit like soapsuds and licorice, didn’t it. “When will you start cleaning it out?”
    “I don’t know,” Hadley said. “They have to finish down at Bowey Hill and get Eustian planted in the cemetery, I suppose. Bill said he’d let me know. Paperwork and all that. Red tape.”
    “Well, it’s a job I do not envy you, Hadley.”
    “You have no sense of adventure, Maury. It is a bit sad, though, when you think about it. Eustian had no relatives. Nobody’s seen inside that house for ages. If I recollect correctly, his mother’s been dead for over