Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky Read Free Book Online Page A

It was scary. My doctor was one step removed from my father. He delighted in telling me all the risks of having a baby at seventeen."
    "Like?"
    "Like a seventeen-year-old's body isn't ready to carry a baby to term. Like I was at risk for anemia, high blood pressure, preterm labor, and my baby could be underweight and have underdeveloped organs."
    Kate looked frightened. "Is all that true?"
    "I believed it. Now I know that most of these problems arise because teenage moms typically don't take care of themselves. But my doctor didn't say that. I was terrified. There were no classes at the local hospital. I had some books, but they weren't reassuring. I was only seventeen. I dreaded childbirth, and then, if I survived that, I was going to have to take care of a baby who would be totally helpless and who might have developmental issues because I was seventeen."
    Sunny scowled. "There must have been someone who could help."
    "My pediatrician's nurse. She was an angel. I talked with her every morning during call hours. It was like she had two patients, an infant and a seventeen-year-old--well, eighteen-year-old by then. We still keep in touch."
    "Are you in touch with your aunt?"
    "Occasionally. But it's awkward. She never wanted to buck my father, either. The deal was that I'd stay with her until I graduated high school, then leave. My dad put enough money in a bank account for me to buy a used car and pay for necessities until I got Lily and me to a place where I could work."
    "They disowned you," Sunny concluded, "which is what I may do to my daughter."
    "You will not," Kate scolded.
    "I may . I don't believe she's done this. Do you know how embarrassing it is?"
    "Not as embarrassing as when I got pregnant," Susan said. "We lived in a small town of which my dad was the mayor--just like his dad before him--so the embarrassment was thoroughly public. My older brother, on the other hand, was a town hero. Great student, football star, heir apparent--you name the stereotype, and Jackson was it. I was the bad egg. Erasing me from the family picture was easy."
    Sunny seemed more deliberative than disturbed. "What about Lily? Weren't they curious?"
    "My mother, maybe." A fantasy, perhaps, but Susan clung to the belief. "But she was married to my father, and he was tough. Still is. I send cards on every occasion--birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas. I send newspaper articles about Lily or me. I send gifts from Perry and Cass, and yarn to my mom. She sends a formal thank-you every time." Susan held up an untwisted skein. "She thought these colors were very pretty. Very pretty," she repeated in a monotone, startled by how much the blandness of the note still stung.
    "I'm trying to decide if Jessica can survive," Sunny said. "How did you make it with an infant and no help?"
    "I didn't sleep."
    "Seriously."
    "Seriously," Susan insisted. She had learned to multitask early on. "I was studying, working, and taking care of a baby. After I graduated from high school, I babysat my way east. Babysitting was the one thing I could do and still have Lily with me, because I sure couldn't afford a sitter. When I got here, I did clerical work at the community college because that got me day care dirt cheap and classes for free. I was halfway through my degree when I met you two." Their girls were in preschool together. "That was a turning point. Friends make the difference."
    "Exactly," Sunny cried. "If our girls hadn't been friends, this wouldn't have happened."
    Susan was startled. Of the three girls, she saw Jessica as the one most ready to rebel. "If not with our two, then with another two friends," she said quietly.
    Sunny calmed a little. "Tell that to my husband."
    "Uh-oh." This from Kate, and with cause. Dan Barros was mild-mannered, but there was no doubt who ruled the roost. "He's blaming our girls?"
    There was a pause, then a halfhearted "Not exactly."
    "What did he say?"
    "Oh, he doesn't say things. He implies. He infers. I'm