Not Until You: Part IV by Roni Loren Read Free Book Online

added shit to that mix that made you even more confused.”
    She sniffed against his T-shirt. “You didn’t make me do anything. I brought this on myself.”
    “Shh, you’re just going through life trying to figure stuff out like all of us are. In a week, you’re going to go back home to your family and the job you’ve worked so hard for, and things will get easier. Everything will fall into place.” The words hurt coming out, but what else could he say?
Hey,
I just met you, and this is crazy
 . . .
    Shit. Now he was quoting ridiculous pop songs. This girl was making him lose his mind.
    Cela pulled back and looked up at him, gaze somber. “I can’t keep doing this. It’s starting to hurt.”
    He wiped a tear off her cheek. “I know, angel.”
Me too.
    She nodded, resigned. “Maybe if I didn’t have to leave, but . . .”
    He pressed his fingers against her mouth, unable to bear the conjecture. “No
what ifs
in life, just
what is,
right? Let’s not go there.”
    She grabbed his wrist to move his hand then pushed up on her toes to brush his lips with a soft kiss. “Thanks for giving a small-town girl a walk on the wild side.”
    He forced a smile, even though the words were way too reminiscent of how things had ended with Darcy. Maybe he’d always be relegated to that role in his life—the kinky guy to have fun with for a while before a woman went looking for something real. Something normal. “Hey, the pleasure was all mine.”
    She smirked. “
That
is definitely not true.”
    He laughed despite himself.
    “I’ll make sure and stop by before I head out of town. And tell Pike if he has any more questions about Monty to call me.”
    “Will do. Do you have everything you need for the move?” he asked, moving into safe conversation, topics that wouldn’t remind him that he would never touch her again.
    “I still have a lot of painting to do, but I’ll get it done in time.” She was heading toward the door now.
    “Let us know if you need help.”
    “Thanks.” She peeked back at him and smiled, but he knew she’d never call for that help.
    This was the end. And they both knew it.
    He stood there staring at the door long after she’d shut it behind her.

Chapter 20
    I turned up the radio as I pulled onto the highway on the way to my brother’s place, trying to chase away the depressing thoughts that were infiltrating my brain. I’d come home last night after going to a movie with Bailey to find my apartment fully painted, every corner cut, every baseboard glossed. An invoice from a local painting company had been on my kitchen counter, the charge paid for by one Ian Foster.
    The gesture had both touched and frustrated me. I’d spent the last week trying to forget the way Foster had looked at me, the way he’d made me feel that night in his room, the crazy things he’d made me want. I’d almost walked next door a hundred times to try to talk to him about it—to try to figure out why I was feeling so . . . undone. But I knew the minute I saw him, it would just tear the bandage right off the wound again. No matter how electric the connection had been between us, I needed to stay away from him. I was leaving in just a few days. And he was looking for something bigger than what I could offer anyway.
    That last night with him
had
scared me. Everything had been so intense, so out there. And I’d responded to it, given in like some slave girl. The more he’d pushed me, the more turned on I’d gotten. I’d wanted to please him, and probably would’ve allowed him to take me even further than he did. Plus, I got the sense he’d only shown me a glimpse anyway. I couldn’t imagine what other things lurked in that closet of his.
    And the next morning, instead of being appalled at how achy and sore I was, I’d gone into the bathroom to look at my back in the mirror. When no marks were there, I’d actually felt
disappointment
. Which proved I was losing it. I was a doctor, goddammit. My whole