Nothing Like the First Time by Keren Hughes Read Free Book Online Page B

summers, a little oil and grease, and a splash of his favorite aftershave, Issey Miyake. Inside the box below him there was a letter. My hands trembled as I opened it and began to read.
     
    My Dearest Carly,
    I have been a fool for so long. When I went away, it wasn’t bec ause I didn’t love you enough—it was because I was young and naïve, so much so, I believed that I should put my career before girls. I know you weren’t just any girl, but before my father died, he told me that there was nothing more important than getting myself on the career ladder and finding my place in life. He was right about finding a career. As for finding my place in life—that meant nothing without you beside me. There were so many emails that remained unsent, so many letters I tried and failed to send—far too many times I called your number, only to chicken out at the last moment and hang up.
    But I want you to know I never forgot you for one moment. I wished with all my heart that you could be there to share it with me. I wish I’d fought harder to convince you to come with me. I got on the plane that day and I broke down in floods of tears. Carls, I am nothing without you—I know I’m late to say it, but more than anything, I want you to be by my side for now and for always. I’ve done as you asked, I’ve stayed away, I haven’t called or texted but I needed you to know how I feel deep down in my soul.
    You, Carly Summers , are my soul-mate. The yin to my yang. From the moment I met you I knew you had to be mine and I wish I’d never lost sight of the fact you are the very best part of me. Every day we spent apart, I thought of you. Other women came and went, no-one else could compare to you. I wish I could go back in time and fight harder to get you to come with me. Look at the careers we’ve ended up in, Carls—I’m a freelance photographer and you’re a freelance journalist—we could both do those jobs anywhere in the world. We could stop wasting precious moments and get on with the rest of our lives, together.
    I mean it when I say ‘Ti Amo Con Tutto Il Mio Cuore.’ I really do love you with all my heart. Every beat seems to echo your name. I am so broken and I miss you so much it is a physical ache in the pit of my stomach. I want to be your always, so if and when you are ready to let me show you these things instead of just saying the words, then you bring that teddy back to me. Until then, keep him safe and know that I am waiting.
    Love you,
    Grey xxxx
     
    I couldn’t help the tears that fell and blurred the words a little in some places. I sat clutching the teddy and the letter to my chest as heaving sobs took me over.
    My tears dried and turned into anger. Anger that Grey could send me this letter and teddy and expect me to feel something, when all the while he had Maggie at home. She would be so hurt if she found out any of the things that had gone on. There are some things you can call me, but ‘home wrecker’ isn’t one of them. I made a vow to myself there and then to ignore Grey for however long he was at home. I wouldn’t serve his table if he came to the restaurant. I would ignore any texts, calls, emails, and letters—anything he did to try and contact me.
    I got up and dec ided to spring clean the house—again. I needed a distraction from his beautiful words and the way they chipped away at my resolve. My head was saying one thing, meanwhile, my heart was melting.
    I found my rubber gloves and cleaning supplies, shoved the teddy to the back of my wardrobe , and put the letter in the bottom drawer. I put my iPod in the dock and selected shuffle so that I could get on with the chores to music—I found it always helped.
    As I cleaned the house from top to bottom, no nook or cranny missed, one of my favorite songs came on—Aerosmith’s ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.’ This song had been one of a few that Grey had decided was ‘our song’ over the years. We’d been to see Armageddon