Now or Never: A Last Chance Romance (Part 1) by Logan Belle Read Free Book Online Page A

— Allen was watching the same game Justin and I were when we hatched the list.  But then I remind myself, signs don’t matter — this doesn’t matter.  The list is just about sexual experiences, not love.  Not a relationship.  Not even a date.
    But when he says, “You wanna get out of here?”  I freeze.
    Allen, to his credit, senses my hesitation, and doesn’t push.  If I’m not going to go home with him, I wonder if I should just punctuate this little encounter and leave now.  But I’m still feeling the vodka, and when Allen puts his hand on my thigh — over my dress.  My heart pounds and I don’t stop him.
    “You are an extremely attractive woman,” he says, leaning close to me.  I know he is going to kiss me.
    My first instinct is to deflect physical contact.  But why?  What do I have to lose?  This night isn’t about conversation.  It’s about chipping away at that wall of nothingness — twelve years of it.
    I lean into him, and his mouth meets mine.
    His beard is rough against my skin, and it’s this sensation I’m aware of before the feeling of his lips.  My head is buzzing from the drinks, and with this strange man kissing me and rubbing my leg, a warmth spreads through me, like my blood pumping for the first time in years.  I have the fleeting thought that we’re in public — this is exactly the type of behavior Patti and I would scoff at if we were out and observed two people lip-locked at a bar or restaurant.  But I push the thought aside, and fall into the greedy kiss of this man.  I don’t know where he’s from, I don’t know what he does for a living — I don’t even know his last name.
    But I do know he’s a damn good kisser.
    I’m floating away with it, the sensation of kissing and being kissed, new and achingly familiar at the same time.  A few more seconds will render me incapable of having the good sense to get in a cab by myself tonight.
    I pull away, and I realize how fast my heart is beating.
    “You’re sure about not wanting to get out of here?” he says, smiling at me, squeezing my thigh.
    The truth is, I am sure.  The kiss was nice.  More than nice — it was fantastic.  But even through the haze of alcohol, I know going home with him will be too much of a good thing.  And I’d rather end the night on this note of elation, rather than disappointment.
    When I tell him I’m going and he doesn’t offer to walk me out, I suspect I’ll never see him again.  Doesn’t matter.
    I’ve done it. I’ve crossed the first thing off The List.
     
    *** ***
     
    The cab drops me off, and I’m still floating on cloud nine.  So much so that I don’t worry about the logistics of retrieving my car tomorrow.
    Out of habit, I look around for the cat.  Then I remember she’s inside.
    I jam my key into the door, fumbling from the lingering haze of alcohol and the sudden image of my couch turned into a scratching post.
    I turn on all the lights, bracing myself for the damage.  But all I find is the little black fur ball curled up asleep on my Eames chair.
    She is dark, and the night is dark and late.  In that moment, I christen her Midnight.
    I sit on the couch.  She peeks at me, then settles back into her slumber.
    With a small groan of effort, I force myself up the stairs, and quickly change out of my clothes and wash my face before collapsing on my bed.  I’m the sort of tipsy just shy of the room spinning.  I’m glad I stopped when I did — both the drinking, and hooking up with Allen.  I’ll never actually do most of the things on The List.  Most of the fun is talking about it with Justin.
    Thinking of him, I reach for my phone.  I hate to admit how much I want to find a text from him.
    Nothing.
    He is no doubt busy with the brunette.  Something stirs in my gut, something uncomfortably close to jealousy.  It’s ridiculous, I know. Justin is my tour guide — he is not the endgame.  I can’t let myself forget that.
    And yet, the night feels