caught sight of my reflection in Liannaâs bedroom mirror, my guarded, almost wary expression.
âI mean, surely if he ran away thereâd have been signs or something,â Maisy continued, unravelling her hair and starting again.
I felt my jaw clench and forced myself to relax. They were just trying to help, I reminded myself â after all, theyâve always known what a big part Danny played in my life. But somehow I could never talk to them like I could to him. Could never quite let myself open up in the same way.
âHave the police been in touch again?â Lianna asked. âSince they came round?â
I shook my head.
âWhat about his phone? Have you tried calling it?â
âAbout a thousand times,â I said, swallowing down my unease. âItâs always off.â
âBut canât they trace it or something?â asked Maisy. âCheck his calls?â
âI donât know.â I remembered the eeriness of hearing Dannyâs voice on the answerphone. I never left a message. I couldnât think of anything to say except, âHi, itâs Hannah. Call me.â
And what was the point of that?
âGod, itâs creepy, isnât it?â Maisy gave an exaggerated little shiver. âDo you reckon heâs been taken or something?â
I bit my bottom lip and looked away. It was obvious she got a little thrill out of Dannyâs disappearance â along with almost everyone else at school. Like it was somehow not real, just a game, something theyâd seen on TV.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lianna flash Maisy a warning look, a frown followed by a widening of her eyes. I stared out Liannaâs bedroom window, at the new house being built across the road. A man was walking across a narrow strip of scaffolding, a phone pressed against his ear. He didnât seem bothered about the height, the fact that there was nothing more than a few planks between him and a broken neck.
âI have to go.â I jumped up from the bed.
âHey, not yet,â Lianna said quickly, knowing theyâd gone too far. âStay for a bit longer. Mumâs making brownies for us all.â
âYes, stay.â Maisy looked genuinely sorry. âWe wonât talk about Danny any more â not if you donât want to.â
âIâve got to get home,â I lied. âDad and I are going out for a pizza.â
âDo you want us to walk you back?â offered Lianna, like I was something fragile that everyone needed to protect. The girl who lost her mother. Then her best friend.
âIâm fine.â I made myself smile. âItâs only ten minutes away. Iâll see you at school tomorrow.â
Back in my empty house I headed straight upstairs and took down my jewellery box from my bedroom shelf, wiping off the film of dust with my hand. My diary was hidden inside, underneath the little tray for keeping earrings and trinkets and things. Not that I had many.
As I lifted it out, something fell on the floor. I looked down and saw it glinting on the carpet. Mumâs wedding ring. The police had given it to us after the autopsy. I gazed at it for a moment, then grabbed it and dropped it back in the box, shutting the lid firmly.
Settling back on my bed, I flicked through the pages. It wasnât much of a diary, really â there were no dates or anything â just a notebook where I wrote things whenever I felt in the mood.
In one entry Iâd stuck a couple of tickets from an amusement arcade â the kind you win and exchange for prizes. I ran my fingers over them, feeling a mix of warmth and sadness. Remembering that trip to Weston, three summers ago. We all went â Mum and Dad, Martha and Paul, Danny, Alice and I.
While the grown-ups lounged on blankets on the sand, drinking fizzy wine and gossiping and laughing, Danny and I had gone swimming. Weâd just inched our way into the cold water when