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explained. “You can bring it when he had his burrito.
    “A house salad is really small,” Justin said. “Don’t you want anything else?”
    “I like it.”
    “Isn’t there any thing else on the menu you like? What about the chicken chocolate mole? They’re famous for that.”
    Chicken and chocolate? Was he crazy?
    Justin was annoyed at me, like I had spoiled his good time because I didn’t want to eat what he ordered me to eat. Since when is ordering a salad a crime? I was disappointed in Justin. I didn’t know he was such a control freak.
    “We have a Caesar salad,” the waiter said. “That’s more a dinner size. How about that?”
    To calm Justin down, I agreed to the Caesar salad. But he still wasn’t happy. As soon as the waiter left he made a comment about how Caesar salad was a weird thing to order in a Mexican restaurant. He added that it wasn’t like I had to be on a diet . He said
    “diet” as if being on one were insane.
    Justin drank his smoothie and ate chips, salsa, and guacamole. I ate a few chips so he would leave me alone. But he kept shoving guacamole in my face. I finally are a little on a chip. But only one.
    I wish we hadn’t gone out to dinner. Justin was acting weird. This was not fun.
    When my salad arrived it was dripping with dressing. Justin had made such a big fuss over my order that I had forgotten to ask for the dressing on the side.
    He drove into his burrito and went on and on about how good it was, of course he wanted me to “at least taste it.”
    I wouldn’t.
    I poked through my salad. Parmesan cheese stuck to the greasy dressing that stuck to the lettuce. It might as well have been deep-fried.
    “Don’t you like it?” Justin asked.
    I took a bite. “It’s good,” I said.
    I ate a few more bites while he continued to wolf down his meal. I made it though about a third of a salad, but I couldn’t eat anymore. Why should I stuff myself just because he does? Or course he had to notice that I had stopped eating.
    “Are you sick or something?” he asked.
    “I’m just not very hungry,” I said. “I don’t have a big appetite.”
    “More like no appetite ,” he mumbled under his breath. I ignored that. I could believe was getting upset because of what I did or did not eat.
    “You should have told me you don’t like Mexican food,” he said.
    “It’s not that. I’m just not very hungry tonight,” I said. “It’s no big deal. Stop making a big deal out of it.”
    “Well, you should have told me,” he said again. He pushed away his plate with
    the half-eater burrito. “It’s no fun to go to a restaurant with someone who doesn’t eat.”
    He signalled to the waiter. “I supposed you don’t want dessert either.”
    “No. I don’t. I never eat dessert.”
    Justin passed on dessert too.
    We didn’t say another thing to each other until we were outside
    The blast of fresh air felt good. As we walked down the block I could feel the
    waistband of my skirt shift from side to side. Three days ago it was snug and now it was loose. I felt thin and I knew I would be thinner. All it took was self-control.
    I sighed.
    I started to talk about the film again. But Justin didn’t seem very interested in the film...or in me. He brought me home.
    I have a feeling tat our first date was also our last. Fine by me. I think Justin was looking for an excuse to pick a fight with me anyway. I’m too ugly for him.
    Sunday 7/26
    6:05 P.M.
    Boring day. Slept till noon. Still tired.
    Dad’s having a screening party here. I have to make an appearance. Hope I at
    least like the movie.
    Amalia phoned around noon and left a message. I was here but I didn’t pick up
    and I didn’t call her back. She’d going to want to know all about the date and that is the last thing I want to talk about. Amalia was more excited about it than I was. Maybe she should go out with him. Amalia likes to eat. They can try out all the restaurants in Palo City. Then they can move to Anaheim.
    Just