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us.
    He looks totally flustered. Like, who, little old me?
    I say, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever eaten lunch with a star?”
    Maggie elbows me.
    I run to grab a table.
    Brendan sits next to me. Mostly we talk about the Bash.
    I’m in a crazy mood. Feisty.
    Dawn says she’s glad it isn’t a date kind of party.
    “Ends up being the same, only the guys don’t have to buy flowers,” I say. “That’s the only thing I’ll miss. Flowers.”
    Maggie says it would be perfect if the guys brought flowers anyway, but it was still a non-date party.
    I say why not just have them bring the flowers, then go home.
    Soon we’re laughing a lot. But Brendan’s looking lost and uncomfortable, so Maggie starts asking him questions. Where did you live, etc. I, the big mouth, end up answering some of them
    Brendan lets me. He doesn’t say much at all. He never likes to talk about himself or his family. Just music.
    The boy still needs to loosen up, Nbook.
    We’ll work on him.
    Language arts
    The Maggie morph continues. Before class you could mistake her for Cece: “So did you see how Brendan was looking at you in lunch? How disappointed was he when we were dissing date parties? How he laughed at all your jokes? How he couldn’t keep his eyes off you,” etc. etc.
    Part of me is thinking, Dr. Fuentes is a genius.
    But part of me refers the quiet Maggie.
    Frankly, with everything that’s on my mind, I’m in no mood for hints and gossip.
    “Do you think I care about stuff like that?” is ay. “ia have enough to worry about.”
    Maggie acts as if I’ve slapped her.
    033
    Maggie says this, Nbook.
    Maggie.
    And you know what?
    She’s right.
    10/10
    034
    It’s here.
    We’re in the gym.
    Home
    6:19 P.M.
    OK. Deep breaths.
    Approx 11 minute before I have to go back to school.
    The equipment fits (yea!). It’s a little cramped, but we’ll live.
    Everybody’s home changing. I’m wearing my black scoop back spandex dress.
    Won’t show dust & dirt. Show starts at 8. Have to be there by 7 at the latest. Guess where Mr. and Mrs. Chaves take us out to dinner after setup? Mexican Kitchen. (WRONG kind of food for nervous stomach.) they invite Ducky and Dawn because they’ve helped us and have been big fans.
    Ducky can’t go. Doesn’t say why.
    Justin sits at table near restaurant door. Me’s smiling at Maggie, but she doesn’t see him & sits at next table.
    I think, is she ignoring him on purpose? Who knows?
    I sit w/ her and notice veget. Section of menu. “Lite meals for lite appetites.
    But Maggie just orders green salad and bottled water.
    And when it comes, she barely eats any.
    I’m thinking, oh no.
    Everyone’s taking at once. Making toasts. Laughing. Bruce is wild. Singing.
    Shouting, “We’re kings of the world!” Patti announces tat the Homecoming Bash is due to “one person only, Amalia Vargas” and everyone stands and cheers.
    But I’m still concerned about Maggie.
    She’s getting worse.
    WHY WON’T SHE EAT? She needs to. I can’t have her passing out onstage.
    I want to say something, but I don’t want to upset her. Not today.
    She gives me a look. “Are you OK?”
    “Fine.”
    She leans over and whispers, “Amalia, I know what you’re thinking. Relax. This time it is nerves, OK? I just don’t want my dinner to end up on the risers!”
    She’s smiling.
    I believe her.
    I have to stop worrying.
    OK.
    Time 2 go.
    NBOOK, THIS IS IT.
    Sat. 10/10, Late.
    I’m numb, Nbook. Exhausted.
    But I can’t sleep.
    I’m afraid of sleep. I may wake up tomorrow to find it was a dream, and I’ll have to do it all over again.
    And if I do, it won’t turn out the same.
    It wouldn’t possibly,
    So it’s you and me, Nbook. Until dawn if necessary.
    Then, if it’s a dream, I’ll have it on paper. So I can read it again and again and know how it felt.
    I starts out horrible.
    We get to the gym and I’m a wreck.
    Christina McDonnell tells us that the cheerleaders have moved that the practice to the