Objective: (Bloodlines Book 2) by K Larsen Read Free Book Online Page A

unlock the car door and plop down into the driver’s seat. What else can I do to keep my mind from him? A job would be good but can I actually commit to that? Jesus, there’s too much to think about. I suck in a deep breath and put the car in reverse to head home. I don't know how I’m supposed to feel right now.
     
    A cloud of dust follows the car into the parking space. I fold out of the car lazily, walk into the trailer and  look around. I really need to make this more livable. It’s depressing and mostly empty. Tomorrow, I’ll get up and hit a Walmart or Target. I sit on the floor and stare at the thread-worn carpet. My chest aches constantly for him. The loneliness consumes me. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I don’t know who I am without him. I don't know how to be a whole person under the weight of my guilt. I feel like some kind of Frankenstein waiting for a shock to bring me back to life. The pain of that day is magnified by the events that happened before he came home. Why couldn't he have come home when he was supposed to? Why did he have to make that last run for Ezra? The tornado of questions brings tears to my eyes. I drag myself off the floor and push the door open, stumbling out into the Arkansas sun and fresh air. I collapse to my knees and stare at the dirt. Dirt . I hate dirt. I want flowers. I want grass. I want home. My stomach rolls and I throw up into the dry, brown dirt. If I can't have him back I just want what he took from me returned - my heart .
    “You alright?” a husky rough voice asks. I snap my head up and wipe the drool away with my forearm.
    “Just peachy,” I answer flatly. The gruff but handsome man throws his arms up in the air in mock surrender. My embarrassment crawls up my neck and face in the form of scarlet red. I adjust myself so that I’m sitting on my butt instead of my hands and knees and stare at him.
    “I’m Magnolia. I guess we’re neighbors but I don’t like people,” I blurt. I just need him to go away.
    “Good to know. Have a great day, Magnolia,” he smirks and disappears beyond the next trailer. Well that went well. He didn't even tell me his name. He also didn't seem to give a shit that I was surly and rude. Arkansas is full of strange people, people who apparently are just like me, just want to be left alone. I lie back, letting my hair splay out in the dirt and stare up at the cloudless afternoon sky. I can’t live like this. I don't know what to do. No one from a normal family, who lived a normal life, can sustain this life. A white streak from a jet is drawn across the sky. I stare at it, unblinking, lost in my thoughts.

     
    Chapter 5
“In this world, not everything will be won by justice. If you want to win, you have to learn how to cheat.”-Ai Yazawa
    I have no idea how long I laid there on the dusty ground, but at some point after the sun had gone down I steeled myself from the swirling emotions inside myself and tucked them all away in a box in my mind. No more. I jumped in the car in search of the closest mall. Doing normal everyday things seemed to help distract me, if only momentarily. Every time I wondered what we would be doing right now if things were different, I pinched myself, hard. Every time I felt tears pricking my eyes at my grief, I dug my nails into my skin, hard. Every time I felt the disgust of Ezra touching me, the shamefulness, I grabbed a few hairs and pulled them out with a painful tug. I spent more than I thought I would, but there while shopping around I saw a couch at Crate and Barrel that I fell in love with. It seemed stupid to feel something over a couch but when I saw it I could envision myself on it feeling content. I immediately bought it. It’s going to be delivered Friday and I can’t wait. I got the essential housewares that I was lacking. A bed, linens, kitchenware and a few other things to make the place look like a place I might actually want to be in. I got a little outdoor end table