Odd Ball Out by Winter Woods Read Free Book Online Page B

helpless, lost and alone. I moved back behind him, laying down on the bed and stretching out on my side. He shot me a confused look but then I held my arms out and without a second’s hesitation he was curling his smaller body right into my chest, his head pillowed on my arm, head tucked under my chin. I use my free arm at his lower back to pull him tight and flush against me and hear him moan, which he cuts off abruptly. I try to convey how I feel in one word since that’s all I can do, “n-nice.”
     
    That seems to reassure him because he breathes freer and I feel his body relax into mine. His shifts, trying to get his legs comfortable. Instinctively, I lift my leg and he slides his knee forward, right under my balls. I rest my leg back down gently on his but ask quickly, “o-o-okay?”
     
    I feel Morgan nod his head. I use my free hand now to brush his hair off his face and trace the outer edge of his ear, down his jaw, down the line of his throat, over his adam’s apple and over his shoulder, gliding my palm down his arm and around his back. I stroke his back in smooth and slow strokes. I’m more content than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
     
    Is this love? Laying in the arms of someone you never want to let go? Enjoying his scent? The feel of his skin and body heat next to mine? Wanting to make him happy no matter what? Wanting to touch him, know him body and soul? Wanting him to touch me and know me the same way? I’m pretty sure it is and I think I love Morgan too.
     
    I swallow thickly before pulling away a bit and tilting his chin up so I can see him when I tell him, “I l-love you too.” Morgan’s smile lights up my body from the inside out and I know no other emotion I’ve ever had can compare to how he makes me feel with just his smile. Morgan lifts up his face and right before our lips meet I realize his intention and reflexively pull back.
     
    I see the hurt and confusion before he disengages from me and turns to leave, “w-w-w-wait!”
     
    I think Morgan turns back to me but I’ve already started typing.
     
    HADEN: its not what you think. I want to…
     
    I look up at him helplessly and shake my head. I know I look desperate and scared because his mask falls and I see Morgan’s kind and caring nature pour forth as he sits down next to me once more.
     
    MORGAN: does it have to do with her
     
    HADEN: yeah
     
    MORGAN: oh
     
    HADEN: I’m sorry, I’ll try, I think I can. I just was startled. I do want to kiss you
     
    My face is flaming and I don’t know why. I know he’s wanted to kiss me but putting it down in words like that just makes it seem so… ordinary. Not special and perfect and wonderful like Morgan. Ordinary was her, I felt nothing but disgust and nausea. Morgan is everything good about feelings.
     
    MORGAN: its okay… so I think now I understand why it’s hard for you to be around Mallory
     
    HADEN: yeah
     
    MORGAN: but your mom is leaving soon and if I understand it correctly, Mallory is living here with you full time, right?
     
    HADEN: yes
     
    MORGAN: have you ever been in his room?
     
    HADEN: no, why would I?
     
    MORGAN: have you ever done anything with him, just the two of you?
     
    HADEN: no
     
    MORGAN: here’s the deal Haden. I have to give this to you straight and it’s going to hurt.
     
    HADEN: um okay
     
    MORGAN: My dad never bothered to acknowledge my existence. He was a one-time john so my mom could get her next fix. She told him I was his but he didn’t care. Never wanted anything to do with me. When I finally got scooped up by foster care they called him and told him all about how I’d been living, what I’d had to do to survive, offered to do paternity testing. He told them he couldn’t care less about me and not to bother calling again. It killed something inside of me Haden. Not being wanted by your own parent… it’s unbearable. That rejection, that hurt and humiliation of being completely unwanted, unworthy of their love… you