Off to Be the Wizard by Scott Meyer Read Free Book Online Page A

out the window of his old bedroom, which looked out on the front yard, it was clear he’d get no time to think here. The two unmarked cars and three squad cars were crowding the street, lights flashing. The agent who had been monkeying with his computer saw Martin through the window and smiled. Martin wrenched the curtains closed. His eyes darted around the room. He dove for the closet. Any second he’d hear the agents pounding on the front door, and then he’d only have a few moments of freedom left. He saw what he was looking for in the closet and he snatched it up, tucking it under his arm with his wadded up jacket.
    Well, here goes, he thought. Soon, I’ll have all the time to think I need.
    As quickly as one would rip off a bandage, or jump into the deep end of a cold swimming pool, Martin pulled out his phone, opened the app, and pressed the Escape button.

Chapter 8.

    In the distance near the horizon, a bank of clouds was casting a shadow over what Martin couldn’t quite believe was France. Here, though, the sky was a pale blue with only a few clouds thrown in as if to add texture. The sea roared as the sea always did, but it was a distant, hollow sound. Distant, because despite the fact that this spot was only a hundred feet or so from the edge of the land, the actual point where sea met sand was at the base of a dizzying, chalk-white cliff.
    Here, on top of the cliff, a steady breeze blew the wild scrub grass and forced the sea birds to work for every inch of progress they made. On one side the horizon was nothing but clouds and sea. On the other, the horizon was all gentle rolling hills and trees. Martin would have found it all very restful, if he hadn’t known he was so utterly screwed.
    He sat on the ground right there where he had materialized and allowed himself to freak out. He alternated between panic, tears, and shame, waves of each rolling over his brain in random order and for indeterminate stretches of time.
    More than anything, he felt stupid. So very stupid. All he’d had to do was lay low. That was the whole plan. Two words. Lay low. So simple, but clearly too complicated for him.
    After a while, he started thinking instead of just feeling. He was in a mess. The first order of business was to figure out how to fix it. He listed his problems.
    No job.
    No cash.
    Bank account almost certainly frozen.
    Wanted by the police.
    Parents aware of the first four items on this list.
    No food.
    No shelter.
    Exiled to Medieval England.
    That established, he tried to prioritize the problems in order from least to greatest, and then spent an indeterminate amount of time feeling panic, shame, and sorrow again.
    Clearly, choosing which problem was worst was not productive. Instead, he tried to figure out which was the most urgent, which clarified things. He needed food, and he needed shelter. All of the other problems were part of one big ball of problems. If he could make the ball of problems go away, the food and shelter issues would be a piece of cake, but he didn’t know how to do that.
    His first impulse was to go back to his apartment, before the chain reaction of stupid decisions started, but he didn’t think that would work. What would he tell himself? “Be careful, or you’ll screw this up?” Past-him already knew that. In fact, he remembered thinking almost those exact words. Also, If he were going to go to the future to warn past-him, wouldn’t he have already done it? When he went back in time to tell himself to go back in time, and to play poker, his first experience of it was of seeing himself appear from the future, not of getting the idea to go to the past. If at any point in the future he were going to go warn himself, at some point before now he would have been warned by himself.
    Martin was angry with himself for not stopping himself from doing the stupid things he had done. He knew this was not rational, but he was beginning to suspect that rational thought was not his strong suit.
    For