One Bright Star by Kate Sherwood Read Free Book Online Page A

the phone call, but he’d been a little deflated. Thinking about his parents, and all the Christmases they’d never have with their family, the new grandson they’d never meet: it made the day bittersweet. But now Tat was coming, and Anna and Robyn, and Jeff would be out of the shower soon and Chris and Ryan… everything was looking up. It was starting to feel like Christmas after all.
    ***
    Jeff ran his hand over his face and then slathered on the shaving foam. It seemed like there was more salt in his salt-and-pepper beard every day, and it was nice to cover it all under a uniform stretch of white.
    Damn. He hadn’t been thinking like that for quite a while. He’d been feeling young, parenting a healthy and rambunctious near-toddler, having no trouble keeping up with his younger lovers, painting with an enthusiasm he hadn’t felt in years… and now, back to feeling old.
    It was the rings, he knew.
    Well, not the rings themselves. It was what they’d made him realize. He’d been playing a game up until then, setting up the evidence of a different story for the baby but not really recognizing the implications of it all. It had been an intellectual challenge, preparing for something that he didn’t think would ever really happen. But the rings were real, and they weren’t in some hypothetical future, they were right then, right there.
    Jeff would give up his life for the baby. For Evan, Dan, or Tat. So this sacrifice shouldn’t have been that serious. And it wasn’t, of course. He’d get over it. He’d appreciate what he had, and not dwell on what he didn’t.
    There was a cursory knock on the half-opened bathroom door and then Evan poked his head inside, the baby snuggled in to his hip. “Your mom and the girls cooked up some weird scheme where they’d spend Christmas elsewhere in order to give us privacy. Tat spilled the beans and she’s on her way over; Dan and Chris and Ryan are going down to scoop up Robyn from the barn. You want to call your mom?”
    “Chris and Ryan?”
    “They got snowed in. They don’t seem too upset about it.”
    “Okay.” A lot of information all at once, and a conversation should probably be had at some point, but for the time being, “Okay. I’ll call Mom.” He wiggled his fingers at Robbie, who was, as always, fascinated by a familiar voice coming from a face covered in shaving cream. “Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas.”
    Robbie looked uncertain, but finally broke into a wide, gummy grin. Jeff felt a wave of love so intense it almost made him dizzy. Yeah, he’d sacrifice anything for this kid. Giving up some formal recognition of his relationship? Not even a problem. Not if it would make it easier for Robbie to get the life that he deserved.

CHAPTER SIX
    Chris leaned back on the sofa with one hand wrapped around a glass of eggnog, the other entwined with Ryan’s. They’d been unwrapping presents for a while now, and there was only one left. As with so many others, it was for RJ.
    They’d started off by encouraging the baby to open the presents himself, but after he’d spent almost half an hour playing with a stray piece of tape he’d found, Dan had interceded. Now he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, RJ in his lap, as they pulled a brightly colored piece of fabric out of a gift bag.
    “A quilt!” Dan said with the enthusiastic voice he only used with the baby. “Isn’t it nice, RJ?” Dan squinted at the squares of brightly colored fabric. “Hey…” he said softly.
    He looked up at Evan then back down at the quilt. “Look at these pictures, buddy. You know these guys, right? Look, there’s Ginger! Uncle Chris’s horsie. And there’s Monty—look at his ribbons! He’s going to get a lot more this year.” Chris braced himself, but Dan didn’t bring up Rolex. Everyone knew Dan wanted to go; he wanted Monty to become the champion he was meant to be. And everyone knew Evan was resisting, too aware of the dangers of the sport, especially at that level.