One Last Shot (Pub Fiction #3) by Gillian Jones Read Free Book Online Page B

my own for two years was hard, it took a long time to adjust but in the end I proved to myself that I’m stronger than I think, that I can handle solitude, that I don’t need to depend on anyone else. This time around, I know I can’t take the risk of losing the solid ground I’ve found since I’ve left. I won’t survive loving and being with Matty. If anything I need to keep the walls up, maybe allow just casual sex or a platonic relationship while we get through the wedding.
    ’Cause Lord knows, Matt Bishop is the biggest force of nature that pulls at the barbwire structure that is my heart, and he has been since the day he strolled up to me.
    What I wouldn’t give to be able to pull off a casual fling with him. Maybe I actually could now? Maybe with my wall of resistance in place, I could. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to let my foundation to be shaken a bit? As long as I don’t let him have my heart again, I should be still intact when the dust settles.
    That’s the key—don’t give him my heart…
    And with that final thought, I drift off to sleep.

Chapter 10
    Claire
    W hoever said: “there’s no place like home” sure knew what the hell they were talking about. It’s been almost a week since I’ve been back in St. Catharines and I’m feeling well-rested, relaxed, and caught up with everyone I’ve missed. Well, everyone except the boy I’ve missed the most.
    Despite constant wavering thoughts about seeing Matt, I’ve not been able to bring myself to do it. One minute, the need to see him will consume me, forcing me to reach for my phone to text him. I tap out a few lines, only to delete them because by the time I’m done I’ve decided it’s still too soon. Then the feeling takes over again and I boot up my laptop. I write him the email he deserves, but of course never hit send because I manage to convince myself it’s not the right time, which finally leads me to deduce that I am basically just being a big huge chickenshit.
    I owe it to him to seek him out, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say or do or even what I might want from him when I do finally see him. The thought of his reaction to me is what scares me the most. What if he can’t stand the sight of me? I know he may like my smell, but the sight of me, that’s different, especially after everything I’ve done. And haven’t done. I can’t fathom that he’d give me anything more than what I deserve: his back, as he stalks away from me and my stupid apologies and no-good reasons. I know what Kat told me last night over wine and reminiscing at my place, but it’s been two years of radio silence on my end. Despite what she said, I still worry he’s going to hate me.
    Kat let it slip that Matty’s been keeping tabs on me and that he wants to see me, too. She also admitted to having helped him over the past couple of years by feeding him tidbits of information about me, before dropping the biggest bomb: apparently Mr. Matt Bishop is my new neighbour—living only a street over—another result of the scheming and plotting by this newly formed dynamic duo of “Katty & Matty”, a duo that I want to throat punch. I almost revoked Kat’s laminated Best Friends Forever card after hearing that snippet of information, let me tell you.
    After mulling over this new info awhile, I decided it didn’t matter. If anything, the idea of him living so close by excited me a bit. The thought that he wanted me close has to mean something good—I hope. Maybe it means he’ll be able to forgive me, maybe he doesn’t hate me for running away like a brat, maybe we can move forward? As friends, of course, nothing more. Because that’s all I want. Right?
    Maybe if I sucked it up and went to see him, reached out and communicated like the grown ass woman I am, I could stop all of these stupid what-if scenarios and find out for myself.
    But I’m also not a stupid girl. I know if I hold out long enough it will only be a matter of time before our paths