Only Forever by Cristin Harber Read Free Book Online Page B

say.”
    “Confusing, right?”
    I angle into him and study his expression. “Yeah.”
    “I hate him.” His lips press into a flat line, making their color fade. His eyebrows bite together. “The bastard was mean. A nasty, angry drunk. He hated the world and hated me. But, God…”
    “What?”
    “I think he really loved my mom. She was with him, right? So, he couldn’t have been all bad, maybe, a lifetime ago.”
    “You don’t know that,” I whisper. “People stay in relationships for a lot of reasons. A weakness, guilt, a soft spot.”
    “Guess it doesn’t matter.”
    “So, who’s your biological dad?”
    Grayson shrugs. “No idea. If he knew about me and still left me, fuck him for that. If he didn’t know I existed, then that’s the way it goes.”
    “So, is there a funeral? Or what happens?”
    “Nothing. I’m not planning it.”
    I nod. I never thought about what happens when a person no one cares about dies. “How’d you find out?”
    “Cops knew what hotel I was staying at, and Mazie was still there. Front-desk girl directed them to my fiancée .”
    “Wow.”
    “She said sorry again, by the way. The girl feels like shit about how you two met.”
    I watch Cally play in the grass with her toys. “If she’s your friend, I don’t hate her. I was just caught off guard.”
    “She’s nuts. That happens a lot.”
    I laugh. “Okay. But about Pops.”
    “What about the asshole…”
    Gray’s right to feel that way. “So, which has been bugging you—Pops dying or knowing he wasn’t your dad?”
    “Actually, neither.” He pulls me under his arm and holds me close.
    I love the way he smells and the way I fit in the crook of his arm, and right now, I love how I can feel how calmly his heart beats. “But something’s been up.”
    “I’ve been thinking about Cally—or really, about me. If we’re going to tell her that I’m her dad, then I want to think about what kind of dad I’ll be. I’m terrified my past will come back to haunt me. But, you know, mind over matter. I won’t be Pops. I just refuse.”
    My eyes slip closed. Sometimes, I can’t believe the amount of love that comes from this guy. It was like he was meant to be a dad, to make up for all the evil inflicted upon him.
    Grayson’s grip flexes into my shoulder. “Think I can be a good dad, considering my example?”
    “Of course you can.” I put my hand over his. “Plus, he wasn’t the only example you had growing up.”
    “Ryan and I talked about your folks a bit—”
    Ryan? That catches me off guard. “You did?”
    He nods, folding me to him and pressing his chin to the top of my head. “Your dad treated me like a son sometimes. Doing guy stuff. Camping, basketball practice, stuff like that.”
    “I know.” Having Gray as a sort-of brother made for some confusion when we were growing up.
    “But I’ve also made some bad choices. Like enlisting when I freaked out and walking away from you instead of telling you the truth.”
    “That was years ago,” I say, hating that he still can’t let go of his guilt.
    “They were still my decisions.” Grayson moves so that we face each other. “I want a good life with the two of you more than I want to regret my past or worry over how Pops will affect my future.”
    “You can do that.”
    “I have to believe if you want it badly enough…”
    Deep inside, I ache for him. “The only thing you need to do is forgive yourself.” I want to beg him, to force him, but I can’t. All I can do is make sure he knows that I believe in him. “I need you to do that, Gray. For all of us.”
    He stares at me in a way I can only describe as adoration. It warms me from the inside out. He needs me as much as I need him. “Grayson, however it happened, this is us. We either make progress toward our future or we drown in our excuses. You’re not going to let Pops dictate your life. Right?”
    “I won’t.”
    “I’ll say this as clearly as I can. The wrong choice, bad