Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg Read Free Book Online Page B

friend and I used to come up with ingenious plans about how to make the FBITs pay.”
    “FBITs?” Albie asked.
    “Frat Boys In Training.”
    He looked at me, sized me up again. I could tell he was sort of thinking I was one.
    “We call them Jockheads,” Toby said. “Rhymes with blockhead ?”
    “Yes, I got that,” I said. “Extremely clever.”
    This made Toby laugh.
    “Well, anyway, this school is all FBITs,” Albie said.
    “I had dinner with them a few times over the weekend. Steve and Zack?”
    Albie raised his eyebrows. “Impressive,” he said. “I mean, in a very unimpressive way.”
    “I like them,” I said.
    “I gotta piss like a racehorse,” he said. “And by that I mean while galloping.” He galloped out of the room.
    So there we were, me and Toby, alone in the room. I crossed and uncrossed my legs. Toby kept eating his Frosted Russkie Charms. He had an earring in his right ear, and he wore a tight white T-shirt. His voice wasn’t effeminate, but he was definitely different.
    “I guess if you’ve talked to the Jockheads already, they probably told you about me,” he said, squirming in his seat. “I’m gay. Everyone knows and I’m fine with that.”
    I swallowed. “No,” I said. “They had not told me that.”
    “Oh,” said Toby. “Um … awkward.”
    All summer, I’d gone over every scenario in my mind in terms of gay stuff at Natick. I had firm plans in place. I was going to be label-free. Don’t ask, and I won’t tell. The only way I would actually lie was if I were asked directly, “Are you gay?” In that case, I’d say no. But even then I wouldn’t go on about being straight. I didn’t want to lie; I just wanted to not be the guy whose main attribute was liking other guys. Been there, done that. So anything less than a full-on, direct question would receive a deflection of some kind.
    If people assumed I were straight — they call that heterosexism, I’d learned in my Speaking Out training — I’d let them. I wouldn’t go on and on about it, but I’d let them.
    If someone asked if I had a girlfriend, the answer was no.
    If someone asked if there were some girl I liked, or if they tried to set me up with some girl at a party, the answer was “I’m focusing on getting into a good school.” That way, I wouldn’t have to pretend to be interested, but also I wouldn’t be saying no, which would obviously make people wonder.
    If something came up about someone else being gay, I’d go for Liberal Boulderite. That’s cool , I’d say, totally unconcerned.
    I’d say as little as possible about sex and focus on other stuff.
    I’d even thought about what I’d do if another gay kid told me he was gay, so I was ready for this. I was ready for anything.
    “I had gay friends in Boulder. I’m definitely cool with that,” I heard myself say to Toby, and held back a grimace. How many times had people said that kind of thing to me? Like I’d be so grateful to know they liked other gay people. Gee, how awesome of you , I’d always thought when people said shit like that.
    He smiled. “Good. Although I have to say,” he said, and suddenly he got a little coquettish, his eyes batting a touch. “I was hoping maybe you were, you know.”
    I blushed. My “don’t ask, I won’t tell” plan didn’t have a contingency for a follow-up question. I tried for another deflection. “Must be tough to be gay here,” I said, averting my eyes.
    Toby just stared at me. He wasn’t buying my deflections. This was not good. Not good at all.
    Oh, well. So much for no lying. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m not.”
    He sighed dramatically. “All the cute ones are straight or married,” he said, looking away. I laughed, though I’m not sure if and when my blushing ever really stopped.
    Albie neighed and threw his head back as he returned to the room. When he sensed the awkwardness, he turned to Toby. “So you told him?”
    “Ya,” Toby said.
    “Your team, or my team?”
    “Yours,” Toby