and Iâm proud of her.â
âListen, Dad,â and Desmond put a hand on his fatherâs shoulder, âwe canât just stand here like this. Weâre both getting drenched. Yes itâs hard, Dad. Thereâs nobody more sorry than I am, but be reasonable. Now will you â¦â
âIâve been reasonable all my bloody life, lad. And look where I am to-day.â
âYes, I know that, Dad. But still. Oh, Dad. I love mother as much as anybody.â
âDo you?â
Captain Fury removed his hand. Drops of rain began to run down under his collar.
âWell!â said Dennis Fury, âitâs been nice to see you in a way. Iâm glad youâre getting on, anyhow! I never begrudged any of my children anything. Now Iâm going home. And you go home too. Itâs no use me going with you nor you coming with me. But I suppose weâll see each other again at the hospital. I feel beat to-night. Itâs been a fair struggle with your mother. Iâll tell you something too, case you donât know it. Your motherâs going mad.â
âDad? WhyââOhââ?â
âWell, thatâs what they said. And thatâs all. Look here, Desmond. Iâm going. I want to go. And I want to go off by myself. The other way is awkward. I canât do anything for your mother. Neither can you. But Iâll pray anyhow! Weâd only get talking about all the old things, and to tell you the truth, to tell you Godâs honest truth,â and here he gripped the Sam Browne belt again, âIâm sick of all them, all them things. Want to forget them.â
Desmond thought. âThatâs that.â No! It was a definite break. It would never be the same again. Never. He put two hands on Mr. Furyâs shoulder. âDad! You mightnât like it. I donât care. But Iâm sorry, sorry for you and mother. Perhaps we could have been a better family. Besidesâââ
âNo! I said No. And God I mean No ! I want to hear no more about families. Your mother and me are all right. We can look after each other! Donât you get fretting yourself over things that can never happen again. Now Iâll shake hands with you, Desmond, and say good night,â and his voice softened. âYou werenât a bad lad in a way, but perhaps you were a selfish, unthinking lad. Never mind. It canât be helped. Best of luck to you.â
To Desmond this was defeat. Utter defeat. He felt miserable, helpless. He could do nothing. How long was it since he had seen his father? He couldnât remember. A long time surely. And his mother! Perhaps he ought to haveâSuddenly he gripped his fatherâs hand and held it.
âWhereâs Anthony?â
âIn the Navy. He hasnât been home once since the war broke out.â
âAnd Maureen?â
âNever see her.â
âWhat about Mr. Kilkey?â
Mr. Fury freed his hand. This was getting awkward. He only wanted to go. To go home and sit down and think and hope and remember Fanny. This was ridiculous. Standing in the rain holding hands. He drew back again.
âOh, I donât know! I donât know. Why dâyou ask me these questions, anyhow? Iâm away all the time. And every time I think of that man Joe Kilkey I feel sad and sick. The only friend your mother ever had. Yet she refused to open the door to him, time and time again. But as I told you, your motherâs gone queer in the head. That boy. Oh, that dear, foolish lad. Itâs finished your mother. Christ! Now,â and his voice became angry, ânow, Iâm going. I canât stand this. I canât stand this sort of thing. IâIâthereâs your mother unconscious in there, a creature who never harmed a soul in the world. Ah! Sure, will you go? Iâm off.âNight to you, lad. God keep you!â
Without another word Dennis Fury walked away.
Captain Fury did not
Lightnin' Hopkins: His Life, Blues