Outsourced by Dave Zeltserman Read Free Book Online Page B

see you soon,” he said. She nodded and left the room.
    The eleven o’clock news came on. After that, Dan flipped between the different late night talk shows. Later he found The French Connection on one of the movie channels. Sometime during the movie he drifted off.

7
    The phone woke him the next morning. Groggy, his neck stiff, he realized that he had slept the night on the recliner. He heard Susie answer the phone and then yell out to him.
    He pushed himself out of the recliner, his back stiffer than his neck. Hobbling like an old man, he found Susie in the kitchen.
    “It’s for you,” Susie said, handing him the handset, her eyes rolled slightly upward to make sure he knew how trying it was having to answer the phone for him.
    Joel was on the line. “You took your sweet time,” he complained.
    “You woke me up.”
    “Woke you up? It’s nine thirty, pal. Look, I’m in Nashua right now. Meet me at ten in the north end of the mall parking lot.”
    “Nashua’s a half hour away. I need to take a shower, brush my teeth—”
    “I’m at a payphone, I don’t have time for your nonsense. Your breath don’t smell fresh enough for me, guess what, I don’t care. You meet me at the mall parking lot at ten, understand?”
    Joel hung up, not bothering to wait for an answer.
    Dan placed the handset back on its base. He checked to make sure he had his car keys and wallet on him, and left the house.
    Dan spotted Joel leaning against his red Ford Escort. He pulled up and Joel got into the passenger seat.
    “First of all, you’re full of shit,” Joel said.
    “Nice to see you too.”
    “I mean it. If you wanted a software job bad enough then you would’ve found one.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Yeah, there are people our age still working in the field,” Joel argued, his mouth compressing into a tight oval.
    “Not as many as there used to be. And that’s only because they’re already in their positions. Let’s see them get through today’s interview screening.”
    “You’re still full of shit.”
    Dan laughed sourly. “You’re sounding a lot like my wife.”
    “Yeah, well, she’s a smart girl. Even if she married a schmuck like you.”
    “Then why aren’t I working?”
    “Because you’re burnt out.” Joel’s eyes narrowed to thin slits as he appraised his friend. “And more than that, you’re pissed off. After everything you’ve done in the industry you’re now at the mercy of these condescending smug little pricks interviewing you. But if you really wanted a job you could retrain yourself and get one.”
    “You’re wrong.”
    “You’re lying to me again.”
    A numbness had set into Dan’s forehead, almost as if ice had been pushed into his skull. “Why’d you waste my time having me drive here?” he asked, his words sounding hollow in his head. “Why didn’t you just tell me over the phone that you don’t want to do this?”
    “Who said anything like that?” Joel hesitated as he pulled at his bottom lip, pinching it with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m just being honest with myself, that’s all. Something you should try. I don’t look at this as my only way out. But I got to tell you, I’m sick of writing software. And there are certain things about your plan that appeal to me.”
    “So you’re telling me you’re in?”
    “Maybe. I got conditions. Number one, my buddy Eric Hoffer be included.”
    “Eric Hoffer?”
    “You met him at my second wedding.”
    Dan had a vague recollection of a mostly bald stocky man with small pig-like eyes. “That’s your friend who got arrested,” he said.
    “Yeah, that’s right. He got screwed in a setup. Did four months for a bullshit charge.”
    “Something about attempted rape?”
    “No, nothing like that.” Joel showed a thin smile as he shook his head. “Lewd and lascivious behavior. The idiot had a hooker in his car. He had already unzipped when the hooker spots a police cruiser pulling up alongside them and tries to save her own butt