the floor. He grabs them and pulls them up into my chest, massaging them some more. As he fucks me, I remove the camisk the rest of the way from my body, knowing my nudity will inflame his passion further. I gyrate my hips as my lips suck him and pull him in like steel to a magnet. A few moments more and I’m floating, charting a course in golden fields of bliss. Every time I am with him I feel more dominant and in control. At times—while fucking—I feel myself to be the most powerful being in the multiverse; the absolute controller of all things. It is as though a hidden power seeps in through him, empowering me wildly, exulting me above all. I am, in those times, a monster of energy—immaculate, immortal, perfect.
Stafford and I sat on the bed, still fully nude, drinking more wine and watching the stars out over the sea and an electrical storm on the horizon. I leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“We have to go somewhere out of earshot of any electronic devices.”
He nodded and motioned for me to get dressed.
Not five minutes later we were walking along his private beach in the moonlight.
“There’s something I have to tell you, but I don’t know where to start.” I broke the silence uneasily.
“You’re pregnant.” He joked.
“No.”
He looked at me.
“I’ve come across something—or rather it came across me.”
“What?”
“The FBI.”
He was silent for a moment, then, “I know they spy on me. What about it?”
“But do you know how much they spy on? What means they’re using?”
“Electronic, I’m sure. That’s how you came across them, right?”
“Not exactly.”
“This is starting to sound more serious than…” He trailed off.
“One of them approached me in the supermarket in Governor’s Harbour. I had coffee with him. Then I met him again.”
“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”
“It was only very recent. You were gone. I didn’t want to attract attention over electronic communication. They’re watching that. They’re watching everything.”
“I suspected as much. That’s why I’m so vague in all electronic communication.”
“Yeah, well they find you quite the riddle. Maybe you should try to be more plain and lie outright. But perhaps it’s too late for that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve hacked into my contact’s personal computer. FBI Special Agent Glenn Carter. He’s said quite a bit about the case in a journal he keeps.”
“What specifically are they after?”
“It’s about the dead women, on the one hand. But I feel that above all it’s about your business.”
“What do they think I’m doing?”
“Arms dealing.”
He was silent.
“I don’t care what you’re doing. I care about you, and I have a…dislike for them.”
He looked at me. In the light, or lack thereof, I couldn’t read his expression.
“What kind of connections have they formed between me and the dead girls?”
“As far as I can tell, tenuous ones at best.”
“This still isn’t good. I didn’t kill them. But those cocksuckers will twist anything around to implicate someone. They want me for the money, and because they don’t really know what I’m doing.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations,” I said in a soft voice.
“You’ve done so much for me. And, honestly, who else do I have to confide in? I feel very strongly about you, not just infatuation—which is there—but as a loyal and trusted friend.”
I was surprised by his openness and the confirmation of feelings I had suspected all along.
“What about you? How do you feel?” he asked after a moment’s silence.
“When I’m with you I feel…I feel that the world is mine, and nothing can be wrong.”
“You share my feelings…”
“Something like them.”
“ Something like them .”
“No two people can ever have exactly the same feelings.”
“So you aren’t…you don’t feel towards me…”
“Yes, yes—I do. I’m just saying it’s different for me
Marguerite Henry, Bonnie Shields