Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Crime by Tamar Myers Read Free Book Online Page B

looking at Zelda, who, I think, was supposed to be taking notes. It was not inconceivable that he had a crush on her. "Familiarity is not a legal defense, Yoder."
     
     
"But I'm a Mennonite! A pacifist. I don't go around stabbing people with pitchforks."
     
     
"There's a first time for everything. And Mennonites do commit crimes of violence. Remember Leyland Neubrander? He ran over his mother-in-law with a combine in November of eighty-three."
     
     
"You weren't even a policeman then," I reminded him. The three of us were standing alone in the barn with the door shut. Outside I could hear the crowd milling and murmuring.
     
     
Melvin's huge head bobbled momentarily on his long, thin neck, as if it were trying to steady itself. There is something about Melvin, perhaps his bulging eyes, that always reminds me of a praying mantis. "I may not have been on the force then, Magdalena, but I know the case. Leyland Neubrander is my cousin."
     
     
That didn't surprise me. Melvin Stoltzfus is my cousin too, if you go back far enough. That's something I try to refrain from doing in his case.
     
     
"Forget Leyland Neubrander and his being a Mennonite. The point is that I'm not a killer."
     
     
"You threatened him in public, Magdalena."
     
     
"I did not!"
     
     
"Yes, you did. I have depositions from at least five witnesses who say they heard you threaten to kill him."
     
     
My heart began to pound. "I said something to the effect that he could shoot that lurid scene only over my dead body. I certainly didn't threaten to kill him."
     
     
"You said over his dead body," said Melvin pompously.
     
     
"I don't see what difference that makes. You know I didn't mean it."
     
     
Melvin's left eye swiveled ever so slightly, but independently, in its socket. "The difference is that his body, not yours, was found nailed to the center beam in your barn."
     
     
"Forked," I corrected him.
     
     
I don't think Melvin heard me. "And, Magdalena, what makes this even more interesting is that it was your sister, Susannah, who found the victim first."
     
     
"Why, Melvin Stoltzfus!" I said loud enough to make Zelda jump. "You leave Susannah out of this. How can you even imply such a thing? She is your girlfriend, after all."
     
     
Melvin's right eye began to swivel now, away from his left. Perhaps he did have hindsight, a trait undoubtedly useful to a detective. "Can you account for your time up until Susannah discovered the body?"
     
     
I felt suddenly relaxed. "Of course I can. I was in the inn all morning. Either in the public rooms with the others, or in the kitchen with Freni and Mose."
     
     
"And they'll swear to it?" I couldn't help laughing. "Freni and Mose won't swear to anything. It's against their beliefs. You know that."
     
     
Melvin's eyes swiveled back into alignment. "The others, I mean. Are you sure you have alibis?"
     
     
"Then I am a suspect?" I glanced quickly at Zelda, but as usual she was inscrutable. I've seen hens with more facial expression than Zelda Root.
     
     
"Let's just say that at this point everyone out here is a suspect." Melvin began to rub his hands together briskly. "And you, Magdalena Yoder, are what we might call suspecto numero uno."
     
     
"Speak English, Melvin," I said crisply, although it's possible it may have sounded like snapping.
     
     
"He means you're our number one suspect," said Zelda dispassionately. I am one hundred percent sure that the woman's family tree and mine have never intertwined their branches. We are at polar ends of the nervous spectrum.
     
     
I held out my wrists. "I demand to see my lawyer."
     
     
Melvin's eyes swiveled away from center for a second, then locked back into place in a prolonged stare. "You aren't under arrest, Magdalena. Not yet, at any rate. But I am going to have to ask you not to leave the area."
     
     
"Shucks. My flight to Paris was nonrefundable."
     
     
Either Melvin smiled slightly, or his mandibles twitched. "I'll solve this