Passage at Arms by Glen Cook Read Free Book Online Page A

insignia. Smiling, he snored in a pool of vomit. Nobody seemed inclined to move or clean him. Conforming to custom, we stepped over his inert form. Not a meter beyond, two male officers were playing kissy-face huggy-bear. I’m afraid I gasped.
    I mean, it does go on, but right inside the front door of the 0 club?
    The Commander grunted, “Hang on to your nuts. There’s more fun to come.” He halted two steps inside, ignoring the lovers. Fists on hips, he stared about as though springing a surprise inspection. Having glimpsed what was going on, I expected an explosion.
    He threw back his head and cut loose with a great jackass bray of laughter.
    And Yanevich bellowed, “Make a hole for the best goddamned Climber in the Fleet, you yellow-assed scum.”
    The cacophony declined maybe one decibel. People looked us over. Some waved. Some shouted. Some moved toward us. Friends, I supposed.
    A tiny china doll, ethereally beautiful in makeup which exaggerated her aristocratic Manchu features, slid beneath our elbows as lithely as a weasel. A meter away she paused and, eyes sparkling, mimicked the Commander’s stance.
    “You’re fucking full of shit, Steve,” she shouted at Yanevich. “Ninety-two A’s the best, and you fucking well know it.”
    Yanevich lunged like a bear in rut. “Shit. I didn’t know you guys were in.”
    “Come down off your goddamned mountain once in a while, graverobber.” She laughed and wriggled as he mauled her. “Can you still get it up, Donkey Dick? Or did it fall off out there in the ruins? We just got in. I could use an all-night hosing.”
    “We’re headed out, Little Bits. Tell you what. You have any doubts, I’ll stick a wad of gum on the end. You let me know when you’re chewing.”
    I was too startled to be disgusted. A mouth like that on an Academy man?
    For no sane reason whatsoever, it being none of my concern, the woman told me, “This crud has got the longest hanger I ever saw.” She licked her lips. “Nice. But maybe I’ll want a little variety tonight.”
    “Sorry.” I thought she was propositioning me. I didn’t want to trample Yanevich’s territory.
    “Variety? Mao, I’d end up chasing crabs through my beard the whole patrol.” He winked at me, oblivious to my pallor and rictus of a smile. I found the girl more baffling than he. She couldn’t be more than twenty. He asked, “You learn to move your ass yet?”
    “No thanks to you.” She told me, “This crud got my cherry.
    Caught me in a weak moment, way back my first night in after my first patrol. Pounded away all night, and never did tell me I was supposed to do anything besides lie there.”
    Surely I turned from pale ivory to infrared. Bradley was equally appalled. “Maybe they’re putting us on, sir.” This assault on the sensibilities had forced him to retreat into the ancient and trusted fastnesses of military ritual.
    “I don’t think so.”
    “I guess not.” I thought he would lose his supper.
    “I think we’re seeing Climber people in their feral state, Mr. Bradley. I suspect the news people have misinformed us.” I grinned at my own sarcasm.
    “Yes sir.” He was developing an advanced case of culture shock.
    The Commander seized my elbow. “Over here. I see some seats.” We marched through a fusillade of derisive remarks about our ship and squadron. Other officers, apparently from our squadron, made room for us at their table. I gutted out a barrage of introductions, doubting I’d remember anyone in the morning. Bradley suffered it with glazed eyes and limp hand.
    Reality had come stampeding through the mists of myth and propaganda and had trampled us both with all the delicacy of a mastodon treading on a gnat’s toe. We couldn’t acknowledge it. Not till something more personal drove the lesson home.
    Yanevich disappeared with his friend. I didn’t understand. He didn’t seem the type. He had changed at the door.
    Eat, drink, and be merry?
    Westhause vanished, too, before I got