Peak Oil by Arno Joubert Read Free Book Online Page A

bottle on the melon, and you were beaten like a red-headed stepchild afterward.”
    Voelkner groaned as a spike of pain shot through his chest. “How long?”
    The nurse was silent for a while. “Four days, give or take. We had to sedate you; you were moaning somethin’ awful, disturbing the other patients and all.”
    He swallowed. “Am I blind?”
    “No, honey, we wrapped you up real good, taped your eyes shut to keep them from drying out. Here, let me just—”  
    Voelkner heard a loud tearing noise as his eyelid felt like it was ripped from his face. He jumped up and tumbled from the bed, an IV stand crashing down next to him.
    “Do you want to maim me for life, you crazy bitch?” he shouted in French.
    He saw a blurry sneaker on a shiny, linoleum floor in his peripheral vision. A knee appeared next to it.
    “My, my, you are a feisty one, aren’t you? And you speak foreign.”
    He pushed himself up to his knees and hung his head, trying to fight the dizziness. He fumbled blindly where he thought his face was but he felt nothing. His bandaged hand slipped on the smooth floor and he fell down on his face. He heard his nose crack, and felt tears well up under his eyes.
    “ Merde! ” he shouted.
    The nurse helped him to his feet and back into bed. Her hands were strong and supportive. She picked up the IV stand and rolled it back into position. “Now let’s take the final one off.”
    Voelkner held his bandaged hand in the air. He wondered if it had been amputated. “Wait, you crazy bitch, before I lose my other eye,” he said in French.
    “Oh, you speak pretty. You want to do it yourself then? Okay, let me unwrap your hand.”
    She gently peeled the bandage from his arm. Finally, he saw his hand. He moved his fingers; they worked just fine.
    “Shit, you people must use up a crapload of bandages in this place,” he said in English.
    “Ooh, I love your accent,” Nurse Betty said as she unwrapped his other hand. “You could say we’re well-stocked, yes.” She cut a plaster holding all the bandages in place. “We need to use up all our stock before the end of the month to make room for the new stuff. Mr. Fitch is real generous.”
    Voelkner peeled the plaster from his eyebrow and tried to gently pull it off. It was stuck on solidly. He shrugged and used Nurse Betty’s method. “Oh, shit, you foul-mouthed whore of Satan,” he screamed in French and writhed in pain. Nurse Betty held his thrashing body down on the bed and whispered soothing words into his ear.  
    “There, there now, mister. Here, take a look.”
    She handed him a mirror. He blinked his eyes. His eyebrows were gone and his nose was more skewed than he had remembered it; apart from that, he looked the same. He shrugged. Any change to his face was probably an improvement. He looked over the mirror at the smiling face of Nurse Betty.
    He blinked once, twice. She was a looker. Her young face was framed with curly blonde hair. She blinked her long, false eyelashes at him.  
    Merde, this woman is a beauty queen.
    Voelkner put on his most charming smile and held out his hand. “Mademoiselle, it is an absolute privilege to be awoken from my nightmare by Aphrodite herself.” He took her hand and gently kissed it, his lips lingering on her fingers.
    She giggled and pulled her hand away. “Oh, you foreigners with your charm. I’m only a country girl. You’re making me blush.”
    Voelkner smiled at her for a moment and then remembered why he was here. “Mademoiselle, you need to get me out of these bandages. I have an important mission to complete.” He looked around the room. “Where is my partner?”
    The nurse shrugged. “I don’t know. You were the only one admitted.”
    Voelkner grabbed her shoulder. “What do you mean?”
    She shrugged. “You were the only one admitted. I don’t know where your partner is.”
    “ Merde .” He let go of her shoulders. “Okay, please help me get up and dressed.”
    “I’m afraid it’s not