PearlHanger 09 by Jonathan Gash Read Free Book Online Page A

description, right?"
    "Quicker than that, Lovejoy." She lit a cigarette, which I extinguished in her coffee. She instantly erupted. "What the . . ?"
    "There's a William the Fourth hunting-scene on the paneling behind you, love," I told her. "Your fag's bad for its chest." Might as well talk to the wall. She still glared. "Look. Hadn't you best just give me a photograph of your husband, then get out of my way?"
    She didn't know which to be maddest at, me, her drenched fag, or being told to get lost. "But I hired you, Lovejoy! You're supposed to do what I want!"
    The world's full of incompetents crying that tale. "Oh, aye," I said unbelievingly and waded into my porridge, which arrived just in time to save me fainting. I eat it as it comes. Milk makes scary patterns and sugar makes oats see-through. An old colonel and his missus were having Douglas kippers in the corner, with toast thin as rice paper. They wouldn't get far on that.
    "Let's get one thing clear, Lovejoy," Mrs. Vernon ground out. "Your sexist attitude's a propaganda put- down, Lovejoy. It's oppressionism. It's totalitarianism. You default on me and I'll..."
    46 . . .
    "Sue me? It'll take ten lawyers a costly year and I'm broke. I'm fed up with you."
    She eyed me. Slowly, almost with an audible click, her brain began to function. Sooner or later it always happens, though oftentimes too late. "So it's you go on your own, Lovejoy?"
    "Why not? I'm unemployed." I couldn't resist putting that nasty bit in. "I've got the list of places where he's gone."
    "Because I. . ." She paused, made to reach for her coffee, changed her mind when seeing her fag bobbing in the caffeine.
    "See?" I said gently. "Your hiring me, all that rigmarole about mediums, stars, crystal balls, Owd Maggie's dream time. It was nonsense."
    "Tell me why," she said, looking. Her eyes were blue, fetchingly done with eyebrows all her own and eyelashes a foot long. If only she had Edwardian stud-and-drop earrings or something, or even those modern multicolored titanium surfacers, and a ton more makeup, she'd look . . . no she wouldn't. It wasn't just that she was everything Lydia wasn't. There was something else. A shutout, a mental armor. It was in her. Thank God most women are her opposite.
    "Give my acquaintance a fresh cup, wench," I said to the lady who was busy shoveling eggs, bacon, beans, and sausages in front of me. "She's been a dirty girl with that one. But don't put it on my bill or I'll never get rid of her. And why?" I continued to Mrs. Vernon. "Because you could have simply phoned around and asked how far your husband had got. Or come after him on your tod."
    "Tod?"
    "Tod Malone, own. You could have done this without
    ... 47
    me. You're a resourceful lass." An overcoated bloke came in, chatted to the cleaners, and glanced over to me. He seemed quite at home. Us antique dealers are like those countries that once belonged to the same empire—competitors, but united for eternity from a shared belief in the same myth. It's not just the lingo. You can tell an antique dealer a mile off.
    "I've explained all that." She was quite cool. "I need a divvie . My husband has our entire savings. We're at a critical time in our relationship. He's—not a very practical man. And a belief in the occult is not a crime. The only warning against you is that you are not to be trusted. But who is?"
    Indeed. Good old Cardew wasn't so dumb.
    "Whose side am I on? Hubby's or yours?" I was beginning to sound like a hireling.
    She drank her scalding coffee. How women can do that beats me. My tea passes the elbow test before I can even sip on the rim. I noshed gamely on, waiting for more orders, like I'd done once for shellfire.
    She rose. "How soon can you be ready, Lovejoy?" She almost choked on the mildness of it. The overcoated bloke had strolled into the kitchen, a publican's antique-dealing brother if ever I saw one.
    "Half an hour to finish. I've someone to see first." Going red, I added, "Please," and watched