Pentecost by J.F. Penn Read Free Book Online

start again after Elian’s death. Everywhere she walked in Jerusalem there had been memories of him, but here in England his ghost was silent. Here she could reinvent herself as an academic, a sister and an auntie. Morgan knew she would give everything to bring Faye and Gemma home again. Then the guilt came flooding back and she put her head in her hands.  
      Morgan thought back to the night with David, wincing at the memory, but she deserved the mental anguish. It had been alcohol induced, pure and simple, but that didn’t justify the mistake. Morgan had only recently moved to Oxford and Faye had gone away for a weekend before the baby was born. The sisters had not yet found a rhythm in their relationship. They were still circling each other, questions unasked and history still buried beneath their parents’ skewed remembrances. Morgan knew, if she was honest with herself, that it was partly jealousy that drove her that night. Faye seemed to have domestic bliss, a haven of peace in comparison to her own life of upheaval. She had lost Elian and she was lonely, desperate for a friend and the touch of a man. It had been too long.  
    David had called into her office that Friday evening to see if she wanted to have dinner. She had started to spend Friday nights with him and Faye in an attempt at friendship and she knew few other people in Oxford then. They had gone to Browns for mussels and ended up drinking a couple of bottles of wine. They had debated religion and psychology, Jung, Freud and the Bible. Morgan found that she could often out-quote David, having studied so diligently, even though he was supposedly the learned Christian pastor. They had laughed a lot and it had been the most fun she’d had in a long time. He had walked her home to her Jericho flat and come inside for another drink.
      As she reached for wine glasses in the kitchen, he had kissed the back of her neck and gently bitten her there. It was the last bastion of her defense. She had pushed her buttocks back against him and moaned. The wine was quickly forgotten and they had frantically made love on the kitchen bench and then again on the living room floor. He had been almost violent with her, and she returned his deliberate thrusts, the thought of Faye furthest from her mind. Morgan knew she could have stopped him but she had desperately needed physical release, the pent up pressure of her new life seeking liberation. It was a reminder of who she could be with a man, passionate, unfettered. But of course, it should not have been with David.  
      As they had lain, briefly, in silence afterwards, she had glanced up at the mantelpiece and seen a picture of the three of them, laughing at the Mansfield College summer tea party. They held champagne flutes and Faye wore a cherry red hat. The sun reflected off her own hair, loose about her shoulders. They looked like twins in the photo and in that moment, shame had washed over her. Nothing was worth jeopardizing the nascent shoots of their renewed relationship. Morgan had sat up, pulling her clothes back around her as she told David to leave. He had looked shattered but they both knew this could never happen again. Faye was his wife and her twin. He was a pastor. This was a sin even if you didn’t believe in God.  
    When Faye returned, they acted as if nothing had happened and never mentioned it again, maintaining a certain distance. Since then, she and Faye had finally found the relationship that twins were supposed to have. They finished each other’s sentences and picked up the phone just as the other called. Morgan was Gemma’s devoted Auntie, who the little girl called for when she was sick, who brought her surprise presents. They were her family and Faye and Gemma were all that mattered to Morgan now. She walked into Gemma’s room and saw the little girl’s favorite teddy discarded on the floor. Tears pricked her eyes. She picked it up and hugged it to her, saying under her breath, “I’m