survived were bound and gagged. The eyes of James’s men were wide as they watched us climb back onto the ship. Even through their gags, I could hear the gasps as the men stared at the lifeless prince.
James stood resolutely. “My brother has fallen in battle against the pirate invaders. No one is to speak of this until I have informed my father of the prince’s death.” He turned to his first mate. “Please take August’s body below deck and find two capable men to guard it until I tell you otherwise.”
The first mate untied another man, and together they carried the stretcher down the stairs. I stared after them, feeling hollow. I lifted my hand to my medallion, remembering too late it was gone.
Murderer .
The sound of a faraway bell was carried to us through the wind. James turned and pulled his spyglass from his pocket. It was crushed, but he didn’t need it. Around the island a naval vessel appeared. James cursed and threw his broken glass into the water.
Leaning heavily against the rail of the ship, James let out a groan that seemed to come from the core of his being. I stood only inches away, trying to find the words he needed to hear, but the moment he noticed me he strode away. I trailed after him, arranging my long blonde hair to hide my missing medallion, and watching as he took in the damage . Two of the longboats were missing, probably what the pirates who’d been left behind had used to escape to their ship. When there was nothing left for him to do, he headed in the direction of his cabin.
“James!” I called out. There was so much left unsaid and I didn’t want to die without resolving it .
He folded his arms behind his back, his eyes guarded. “I know we need to talk, Jade. But it will have to wait.”
I frowned, but let him go. My hand reached up, searching for my medallion out of habit before I remembered it was gone. Ducking my head, I turned to walk towards the cabin James had set aside for me.
I closed the door and leaned back against the strong wood. And finally, for the first time since I’d pulled my sword from August’s body, I let myself feel what I’d done.
It was as if a crack split the dam of my emotions, and with the fury of a tidal wave they rushed through me—grief, anger, guilt, shame—each whirring in an unending loop. August’s blood painted my hands . . . what had I done?
My hands raked through my hair, snagging on my engagement ring. The ring felt like an anchor on my hand, weighed down by August’s death. I slid off the ring and left it by the sink, now unworthy of it. The once sparkling diamonds were covered with a film of red. Blood still hid in the crevices, obscuring the jewels gleam.
I stared at my bare finger, then both of my hands. They had ended a life in its prime. His parents would never see him again or laugh at one of his satirical commentaries. A whole kingdom lost their future king. I’d stolen him from them. August would never grow old, he’d never . . . he’d never do anything again. Instead of ruling a kingdom, a sword pierced his chest, his blood flowed out of his body onto my hands. I could still feel it, smell it.
Before I fully realized what I was doing, I was at the basin in my room, ignoring the throbbing in my scars as I tried to get the blood off my skin. I scrubbed harder, making the skin turn raw, and long after the blood was gone I still didn’t feel clean, until finally my stomach turned and I leaned over the sink, vomiting.
When my stomach was empty, I shed my dirty, torn dress only to find myself covered in the blood of my sin, the rust-colored stain of blood clinging to my skin.
I filled the polished walnut tub with water and climbed in, bypassing the scented scrubs and clutching instead the strongest bar of lye soap. I scrubbed every inch of my body, trying to rid myself of the taint of August’s death. It left my skin raw and screaming in protest. I scrubbed even harder, determined to wash away my horrible mistake,