presence, as if I’d never been here in the first place. I suddenly felt the urge to be gone from the house as quickly as possible, so I shoved my belongings into the garbage bags, not caring what went where.
Once the bed was empty, I took one last look around and said a silent goodbye. I turned off the stereo and the instant quiet was eerie, making me feel even more alone. I carried the bags out to my trunk. Everything I owned fit into four garbage bags, and the pain in my chest increased as I realized how little of a life I had away from Cameron. Everything I was had become tied to him.
I walked back in to do a final walkthrough. I was leaving everything behind. I didn’t want our plasma television, I didn’t want the new leather sofa, and I didn’t want anything from him. He’d already stolen my happiness, and without that, without him , all the material possessions in the world meant nothing to me. I walked over to the dining table and slowly slipped my wedding and engagement rings off my finger, placing them in the center of the dark wood. I adjusted them so they were perfectly lined up, and without looking back, I walked out of the house.
***
“Come on, Charlotte. You haven’t come over in ages!” Ann whined into the phone.
Ann and I were barely more than acquaintances, but she was the only friend in my life who was completely separate from Cameron — now that Lucy was gone. So I was relying on her more than I ever had.
“I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t really been up to it,” I said.
The last few weeks had been rough on me. I moved back in with my dad and developed a safe rhythm of keeping busy. I continued my work as a babysitter for several of the police families in my dad’s precinct, and when I found myself around the house, I read and spent time on the computer, not allowing myself any time to dwell on my life as a twenty-three-year-old about to get a divorce. Cameron tried calling me over and over, but I never answered and hadn’t seen him since Christmas Day. He left voicemail messages begging me to talk to him, apologizing, and asking if I was all right, but I didn’t want to hear his excuses and hollow apologies, and I certainly didn’t want him to see how crushed I was.
I had created the perfect “happy mask” that I slipped on as soon as I crawled out of bed in the morning and never took off during the day. Nights were a different matter, though. I cried every night, and the only way I could eventually fall asleep was with the television on as background noise. The white noise helped stave off the Cameron dreams and allowed me some peaceful sleep.
After the shock of discovery had worn off, I realized I wasn’t even surprised by Cameron’s actions. My mother had done it, so it stood to reason that the same thing could happen to anyone, including me. “You need to get your mind off that douchebag, soon-to-be ex-husband of yours and start living your life again,” Ann insisted.
I knew she was right. I really wanted to forget all about Cameron and move on. I knew I was young enough to start over and pretend — if I wanted to — that I’d never been married at all.
“Okay, I’ll come over and watch a movie, but I’m not staying late,” I agreed half-heartedly.
“Great, can you grab some orange juice on your way over? I want to make cocktails!”
***
An hour later, I was at the grocery store on my way to Ann’s house. I strolled through the aisles, enjoying the mundane activity. In the past few weeks, I hadn’t done any of my normal tasks. I’m embarrassed to say I’d gone back to letting my dad take care of me, so being in the grocery store was a novelty. I could almost pretend I was just like all these other people, not the broken husk of a person I felt like.
As I approached the refrigerated section, I glanced down one of the aisles and saw Cameron. I froze. Part of me wanted to say hello, and part of me wanted to run. The decision was made for me, however, when